


A Question of Becoming

by Emjoelle



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Enemies to Friends, F/M, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers, Mentors, Spark Sexual Interfacing, Transformer Sparklings, Transformers Plug and Play Sexual Interfacing, Transformers Spark Bonds, romantic relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-06
Packaged: 2018-07-19 16:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 33,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7368142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emjoelle/pseuds/Emjoelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A college student discovered everything she thought she knew about the universe is wrong when she is unwillingly part of an experiment that made her Cybertronian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Question: Idenity Crisis

**Author's Note:**

> This is a revision of the very first fanfic I ever wrote.

Chapter 1: A Question… (Identity Crisis)

Things started to quiet down for the day as night fell on Cybertron; the setting sun reflected off the metallic street and her shiny black and silver armor like diamonds. Nightshade stopped to enjoy it for a few clicks. As she did it occurred to her that she never really took the time to appreciate her new home due to simply being homesick for Earth. She missed the sounds of nature from earth but in that moment she realized the hums, the sounds of this planet, were just as peaceful. She had been busy and had very little time to really focus on what could be. She spent far too much time thinking about what was despite the scary yet wonderful changes that took place over the last three Earth years. 

The planet could now sustain life but as of yet it was unclear if new life could be birthed there. Nightshade volunteered to be part of the research team that was working on solving that problem. Even before the fateful night on campus that made her what she is now she loved science. She loved anything related to biology from as far back as her childhood and now her focus shifted from her old planet and old body to her new one. Getting used to her new body had been quite a challenge. She laughed quietly as she remembered trying to fake being comfortable and pretend she had always been Cybertronian. She was still surprised that she acted good enough to fool as many doctors as she did. 

She headed home to do some studying and to hopefully get a few cycles of recharge in. It had been a while since she felt she really recharged enough. The project alone kept her busy, along with her medical studies with Ratchet she had plenty to think about. She tried to be social and spend time with her "spark mate" if she dared call him that, and her new friends took up the rest of her time. Come to think of it the last 3 years had been really long! She needed a vacation or at least time for herself.

Back at her place she reclined on her berth, off lined her optics, and initiated the recharge procedure, she ex vented as she expected each of her secondary system to power down. However, after several nanoclicks the only message on her HUD was something about an error and being unable to engage the protocol. Something felt wrong. Her processor ached. He door wings twitched as if under physical stress and the room began to spin. She guessed that this was the Cybertronian equivalent of a nervous breakdown. She was stressed about her studies, her job, and her relationships with her fellow bots. She could not let go of the idea that something terrible was about to happen. Perhaps she was still a bit war weary. She remembered something said in jest by her angry attacker that echoed in her processor. She was told she was not really what she appeared. She began to panic. Nightshade had to talk to someone before she absolutely glitched. She didn’t dare call Knockout, the thought of their first encounter and where they were now made it seem awkward to call him. The only one she could think of at this point who could prevent it and give her peace of mind she needed was her mentor, Ratchet.

"Ratchet," Nightshade commed, "do you have a couple of nanokliks? I want to, no NEED to see you. The sooner the better."

"Sure," Ratchet replied. He could hear the panic in her voice and he knew his charge well enough to know something was up. She didn't usually overreact. "Sending a ground bridge now."  
Nightshade walked through the ground bridge and almost collapsed. Ratchet could now see her fear. "What happened? What is wrong?"

Nightshade tried to play it calm. I guess it is about time for a maintenance check,” she managed to whisper.

He immediately began a quick scan. "Please, Nightshade! I usually have to hunt down bots for checks and threaten to weld them to the berth to get them to comply. You come willingly, early, and at this time of orn? I am touched but I don't believe you just came for maintenance." Ratchet smirked. "You care to tell me the real reason?” He gave her a look of disapproval. 

“I am having trouble recharging.” She answered still shaking and her vocal processor cracking. 

“Nightshade, there is more to it than that.” He looked at her with impossible patience. “I have only ever seen you panic once and that was when you joined us thinking your life was in immediate danger. You were close to a panic attack. That was understandable for you then. What has frightened you so much this evening?”   
Nightshade cycled air through her vents. A noise like a sob escaped her vocal processor. She spoke so fast most humans would have missed half of what she said. "A few years ago everything was perfect. I had my family, my friends, and I even began the very early stages of training for my dream job. I was going to be a surgeon. Then in a matter of a few days it was all taken away. Sure I was only going to live a vorn but hey that was average. I loved life. Now, I have grieved what I lost and I have adjusted. I have fought on both sides in the same war. The war is over, I have a new family, new friends, I'm still going to be a surgeon but I fear I'm going to lose it all again" 

Nightshade was certain she was going to go into involuntary stasis lock. “Is this what glitching is like?” she wondered out loud. 

"What if it is all in vain? What if I'm not what I think I am? What if I am inferior? What if I really am a failed experiment? What if I don't even get a vorn to live now?'

Ratchet sat down beside her. He could clearly see where this was going. "Let me see if I am understanding you" he said. "In short you don't think you truly are Cybertronian. Am I correct?"

Nightshade simply nodded. He was good. She silently thanked Primus she didn't actually have to say it or she definitely would have glitched.

"Nightshade, who found you? Cons right? You served how long aboard the Nemesis? I seriously doubt you would have been able to get past the morbid curiosity of Knock Out and never mind Shockwave if you weren't really Cybertronian. You would have been an experiment all right, in Shockwave's lab, if you even got past Knock Out. That fragging glitch still loves to take things apart and would have had you on his dissection table in half an astrosecond if he expected otherwise. Then we found you. Do you think I don't know a fellow Cybertronian when I see one? I didn't believe your story at first, remember?" He was right about that. She still wasn't completely convinced but at least she was no longer on the edge of a major shutdown.

"You still don't look like you believe me and on the chance that there is something beyond your stress that is causing your problems recharging let's do that maintenance check."

"Let me see your arm. I'm going to show you something now that you will know what you are looking for. Take off the armor on your forearm for a nanoklik." Ratchet scanned it and projected the readings on the med bay's main computer. "What is it composed of, Nightshade? Any earth alloys?"

No, it is all of Cybertronian origins, Cybertronium among others" she replied.

"Good," he said. He set the armor aside and thumped her arm; there was a soft metallic ring. "See, nothing organic there!" Ratchet grabbed some vials and set them beside Nightshade. "Straighten your arm" Ratchet said as he probed the bend in her arm. He found a small energon line and filled one of the vials. Ratchet smiled at her. "I'm not even going to comment on how Cybertronian this is, and what it does to organics. It fills your circuitry." Nightshade smiled. Yeah, it was her life blood now she thought. He closed the line and probed deeper for smaller lines and filled a couple of vials with other fluids. He replaced her armor. "Ok, Nightshade lay back quick scan" Nightshade complied. The hum of Ratchet's scanner filled her audios and as she felt the electromagnetic tingle through her body she decided to off line her optics for just a moment.

She on lined her optics 3 breems later to find Ratchet standing over her with a cube of energon. From the smell of it, it was at least mid-grade. "Nuh uh sit up and drink!" he barked. When she finished ¾ of the cube he spoke again. "Care to tell me when the last time you refueled was? Never mind the last time you got a full recharge. Your energy reserves were almost completely depleted!"

"I can't remember," was all that Nightshade could get out as a reply.

"I thought as much! I am ordering an increase in energon rations for you for the next few days and at least 8 mega cycles of uninterrupted recharge. If your energy reserves aren't back up in the next few days I will be forcing energon in you and welding you to that berth and putting you in stasis. Do I make myself clear? If that fragger of a spark mate of yours prevents it rest assured I will take great pleasure in welding his pompous, arrogant aft to a berth too." Nightshade could only nod, and smile. She was going to be ok.

"Oh, and just so you know the rest of your 100% Cybertronian body is functioning within normal parameters. I don't know what the future may hold. I do know that eventually we are all going to offline for good. Barring any cataclysmic events you have several hundred thousand vorns to live. Nightshade, you have a great future ahead of you, you'll make a great surgeon. You need to focus on living and not on dying. Ok. It doesn't matter where we came from and how we got here. The only thing that matters is where we are going. You are going to rest. Now get out. You are underfoot. I'll see you in 3 Orns. "


	2. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Autumn Knight is Nightshade

Chapter 2: The Beginning

Autumn Knight stormed into her dorm room in frustration. "Why do I put myself through this?" she wondered out loud as she threw down her Elementary Robotics and Human Anatomy and Physiology text books. It was the second semester of her sophomore year at university. 

"What take the maximum number of classes allowed without paying extra and making most of them science classes? Maybe because you are a masochistic nerd with dreams of world conquest?" her roommate Anna Leigh answered as she turned down the radio. Autumn just laughed. 

"Yep, that is exactly why I do it. Thanks. That is also exactly why we have been friends so long and why we are roomies. You know me so well.” They were polar opposites. Autumn was an analytical perfectionist and Anna Leigh was a dreamy artist who kept her head in the clouds.

"Seriously Anna Leigh, I need your help with something before the end of the week." 

“Me?" Anna Leigh asked feigning shock and disbelief. "How could I possibly help you, oh great one?" It was as if the two girls had a running contest of who could be the most sarcastic at any given moment.

"I have a project in Robotics. I need to design a simple robot that could be used in place of something we humans do all the time. They would need to do it in a more efficient way than we can. I thought about cleaning robots but they already have vacuums.” She said noticing the little round robot running around their dorm room. “I will come up with the use. I was hoping you could help me with the drawing schematics.

"Sure, that's easy." Anna Leigh said." I'll just draw you as a robot. I mean really you'd make a pretty kick ass robot. Just turn yourself into one. You are obsessive in the way you do everything, and would never be happy with any other robot design. I mean, present yourself as a robot to you professor and, wham, instant A."

"Thanks, but no thanks. Even if that were possible, I like me the way I am. I need another idea." Autumn said.

"Okay not you then. How about a robot boyfriend instead?"   
Autumn just rolled her eyes. That was the other thing that was always on Anna Leigh's mind. She was going to be an artist and have someone take care of her. She didn't want to grow up. 

"Think about it, Autumn. An AI boyfriend can learn but still be programmable. You could make him like the things you like, program him to actually listen to you, and he could give you everything you wanted and not ask for anything in return…if you get my drift" Anna Leigh said smiling. “And he would be far more- efficient than an human ever could.”

"Is sex all you think about?" I want a human for that too. There is more to relationships than orgasams. Besides I'm not going to settle. The right soul is out there. I'll know him the minute I see him." Autumn said shaking her head. This was not a topic she liked to discuss. She was focusing on her education and her career right now. Romantic relationships got in the way. Even though she didn't believe in fate she knew she'd know somehow. It was illogical but true. Anna Leigh was not yet ready to let the topic go.

"The right Soul? So you believe in soul mates?" Anna Leigh asked. 

"No" Autumn answered. "Do we have souls? Yeah I guess, but because I can't find it in any anatomical charts, I don't make it my concern. There may be a soul connection but I believe connections and compatibility has more to do with Chemistry, you know, pheromones and neurotransmitters. We are part of nature and not as above it as we like to believe we are. I am not going to just settle.”   
Anna Leigh gave her the look that was obvious she thought Autumn was talking nonsense. “Come on Autumn, I know better than that. You think about it sometimes. Tell me what would he be like?”

“ Right now if I had to guess I imagine my perfect soul mate would be tall but not too tall, drop dead gorgeous, cared about keeping himself that way, had a somewhat sarcastic sense of humor, is a ginger, and a doctor. "

"oh", Anna Leigh said. Her mind had begun to wander again. "Sounds like he would have the potential to be an ass, but hey whatever you like. Good luck in finding him."  
Autumn was getting uncomfortable. She had plenty of studying to do and was about to make excuses to leave when the phone rang. According to the caller ID it was Anna Leigh's boyfriend. "Well, speak of the old devil. I'll get this." Autumn was relieved. She didn't have to sound rude or make excuses to leave. She had plenty of studying to do anyway and had no intention of staying as long as she did. She wanted to trade books and ask Anna Leigh about that assignment.

"Okay", she said. I'm headed to the science building to study. IF you need me I'll either be in the Chemistry Lab or the Micro Lab."  
What Autumn Night didn't know was that she had spent her last evening on campus, and her life was about to change in ways she never dreamed.

Autumn never suspected it but there was someone who had taken a great interest in her. If she had she would not have been excited about it and she might have been more cautious. The individuals who had been keeping a close eye on her were interested in her mind as well as her particular blood type. They kept in the shadows and air watching her. If she had known and had been able to spy on them she would have overheard things that would have shocked her. She would have heard things about aliens living among humans hidden in plain sight, wars, treason, government conspiracy, research, ethical dilemmas, as well as things she wouldn't have understood. Things like sparks, Allspark fragments, protoforms, MECH, MECH II, and Decepticons.  
She was on her way back to the dorm when several large men dressed in black came from the shadows around the science building. "You're coming with us" a voice growled as a hand covered her mouth to prevent her screams. "If you fight us it will only be worse, besides you like science so much you will be pleased to know you will be contributing a great deal to it. The others were going about this the wrong way. You take what you have and work with it. We have plenty of Humans. Just think you will also be part of first contact. We aren't alone in the universe but you knew that didn't you?"  
Another voice that almost didn't sound human responded "Shut up fool! I hope all of you flesh creatures aren't this stupid. It would be a waste of all of my time. I had higher expectations. Hopefully this one is, and hopefully she is strong enough to endure the process."

Autumn heard someone come up behind her and inject her with something. Autumn heard the sound of chopper blades and felt herself being lifted and then fortunately blacked out.  
Autumn awoke hours later in incredible pain. She felt like her nerves were a pulsating current ,her skin burned, and she struggled to breathe. Her chest ached. She tried to clear her head and guessed this was what being burned and electrocuted while having a heart attack was like. She tried to sit up and figure out where she was but she couldn't move. She was strapped to some operating table. Her eyes wouldn't focus, or rather they kept shifting focus and it was giving her a headache. She felt something sticky on her chest and arms and assumed she was bleeding. She knew at that point death was inevitable and she welcomed it. She passed out again as the pain intensified.

She awoke again. This time her pain had diminished to a dull ache throughout her body but she could think and her eyes could focus. She was definately in some sort of operating room. She heard people in the next room arguing. "It isn't going to work. It hasn't yet. I have no reason to believe this girl is any different. Do you even know what you are doing? I haven't heard anything. She is likely dead like all the others."  
The alien voice responded calmly "She may be recharging. It is good for her and for us as we don't have to listen to this one scream. It will work. This human is different. Other than being far more intelligent than you she had something in her blood, something that I can't explain. She will endure. She will be one of us. Yes, you will get credit for it. All you humans concern yourselves with is fame and money. I wonder how you evolved to the point you did.”

“Yes, they need fame, we need soldiers. That is the only reason I tolerate this and haven't terminated you yet. You call yourselves scientists." Another high pitched alien voice responded.  
The human answered "Do you all ever stop talking? I think we should go check on her"  
Autumn had loosened her bonds and was almost free but heard them coming and decided to pretend to sleep. She heard them approach her and counted three human voices as well as the other. "She is alive!" said the one that she recognized from the school.

"Indeed, congratulations Dr. Frankenstein" said another younger sounding male voice. Autumn didn't even try to guess what that meant or fathom what she looked like. If she could have seen herself she would have been shocked, but not disappointed.

"Move" the alien demanded. He stood over her and Autumn fought from tensing up. She tried to brace herself from pain but only felt an impulse that could only be described as electrical but painless. She then felt pressure he snapped something to her body. "You forgot one thing. This armor will of course be necessary. I still do not understand why you soft fleshies don’t protect yourselves.” He continued. “With that all is perfect. After 3 breems, uh, half an hour of recharge I will return to claim her."

"Wait what about our half of the deal?" the human sounding voice asked.

"Don't worry about that. You will get what you deserve." He growled as he left.

Autumn was perfectly aware of the time even though she noticed no clock in the room. She knew she had to get out of there. She broke her bonds and for the first time noticed the sticky substance she assumed earlier was blood was a deep shade of blue. She was afraid again and resolved to get out and get answers. "What did they do to me? I have to get out now but where am I and where would I go?" she whispered to no one.

Autumn had exactly 10 minutes and 28.3 seconds before they would be back for her. She wasn't sure how she knew that so precisely but it was one thing she was certain of. At that moment she got a break. Screams came from outside along with what sounded like gun fire. Someone was coming in. She used it as a distraction and followed the sounds outside. She slipped by her abductors unnoticed as they were hopelessly fighting what looked like giant mechanical men. She actually laughed for a moment as she remembered her Robotics project and what Anna Leigh had said about robotic boyfriends. She still had not seen herself. It was late evening. Autumn wasn't certain what day but she imagined she was missed back on campus. She considered running back that way. She knew she was west of the campus somewhere and headed out of the setting sun.

The slope of the ground changed and Autumn fell. She couldn't run anymore. She found some low bushes to hide in and hopefully wait until later. She needed a rest. She was drifting off and felt someone behind her. "Calm down, I won't hurt you. You were running from MECH II. Did they hurt you?" a black winged creature like the ones she saw fighting asked. "More than you know" Autumn responded. "Follow me, I'll get you to safety.


	3. First Con-tact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Initially I was not going to have a 2nd OC. I wanted to have other seekers and I considered bringing in another G1 element (I like the Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercracker Trio) and having Thundercracker find her, but I can't imagine being "rescued" by him! That and he would be likely end up being so ooc that he'd be unrecognizable. I didn't want Nightshade rescued by a vehicon member of the armada so my new seeker, Blackhawk, was born.  
> Disclaimer: I don't own The Transformers. Just my OCs.

New Chapter 3:First Con-tact

They began to run. The battle got closer and they seemed to be surrounded by gunfire and explosions. "We have to move fast. I'll contact the Nemesis and let them know what is happening and to expect us. I haven't heard from Commander Starscream in the last several minutes. That is unusual and troubling." The black and green mech informed Autumn. "It's safe to assume you can't fly. Am I correct?" he asked noticing she had no wings.

"No" she replied. The thought terrified her. She always hated heights.

"Well this may take longer than I hoped. They are engaged also. If MECH II and the renegade traitor weren't bad enough to deal with, those accursed Autobots decided this would be a good time to attack too." Autumn was surprised she could run so quickly and that she wasn't getting winded. They found a small cave to take cover in. The battle continued but they were hidden and safe from detection.  
For the first time that evening Autumn had time to actually think. "Who are you?" she asked him. "What are you?" She asked as she noticed her body for the first time. "What am I?" She whispered aware now of the near mechanical sound of her own voice. The rush was starting to wear off and was being replaced by fear. Her frame shook visibly. 

"Sorry there wasn't time for introductions back there. My designation is Blackhawk. I am a Cybertronian mech and a seeker in the Decepticon Army. You, sweet spark, are a Cybertronian femme." He looked puzzled but tried to reassure her. “It will be okay. I'm just a soldier not a scholar but judging by your reaction either you have some memory problems due to your captivity by MECH II, or you were not born Cybertronian. Right? 

She nodded. "You're right on the second count. My name is Autumn Knight and until I was kidnapped a day or so ago I was a human college student studying Biology."

Blackhawk shook his helm. "I don't know how they did it nor do I want to, but you better keep that piece of information to yourself when we get to the Nemesis. Lord Megatron should know but outside of him it needs to be kept completely secret. I don't want to see you hurt further. You've been through enough.” He paused and thought for a moment. “ As far as my superiors are concerned you were a neutral scientist captured by MECH and they messed with you processors and you lost most of your memory before the other day. It is believable. We've known MECH to be dangerous for a while now. This second group that calls themselves MECH is worse. Besides they won't question a femme. You'll see why when we get there. You need another name. Autumn Knight isn't exactly Cybertronian."

"I wish to keep my surname if at all possible." Autumn said. "Knight… night. We have been keeping in the shadows. 

“How about Nightshade?" Blackhawk suggested. 

"Yes, and also a potentially deadly family of plant life, that looks harmless enough. It works." Nightshade replied.

The sounds of the battle continued. Blackhawk informed Nightshade that he still had not heard anything from either of his superiors and felt that because the battle was continuing to get closer he feared their cover was about to be blown. At that moment an explosion went off above them.

"Get down" Blackhawk yelled as he threw himself over Nightshade.

"I didn't come this far for this". What appeared to be the rest of the armada flew overhead. Blackhawk didn't see Starscream with them.  
"This is really bad" he thought. They fired at a couple of Cybertronians who ran ahead of the humans. "Traitors" Blackhawk screamed. "If I could and didn't have you to watch I would personally chase them, rip out his spark while he stood there and burn the humans with it one by one until it was completely extinguished. To desert during a war is bad enough but to betray your whole people for that. Fragging glitch doesn't deserve such a quick death!" Blackhawk's optics were glowing like lit coals with fury at this. It was not lost on Nightshade and she was once again terrified.  
The armada flew over and Blackhawk decided it would be wise to follow them. "Do you have an Alternate Mode?" Blackhawk asked Nightshade.

"A what?"

He ex vented. “A disguise, something other than your root-your robot mode?" She didn’t answer. “Then I take that as a no. It would be quicker even if you didn't fly if you at least had your wheels . All Cybertronians have the ability to transform. We change from our root forms into a vehicular form. It is faster than walking and allows us to hide. For example, you said you were in a helicopter when you were taken. It wasn't a normal helicopter, it was one of us. Some choose cars. Seekers are aerial and most of us choose the form of a jet. Lord Megatron's alt is a Cybertronian plane. He decided not to take an Earth form. You need to choose quickly." He spoke quickly but Nightshade surprisingly understood.

“Are you sure your frame isn’t built to fly? You could scan me and borrow my alt mode. That would make things so much easier.  
Nightshade was terrified of heights. She wasn't sure if she could fly but she was completely sure she didn't want to fly.

"I don't think so" she answered.

"That's too bad." Blackhawk told her. "There is nothing like the feeling of taking off from a high place. Freefalling for several nanocliks before your secondary systems engage, and then the moment of transformation as your wings shift into place and you can feel the wind as you soar. Seekers were created for the sky and the sky for us. We'd rather off line than be grounded."  
The conversation alone was starting to make Nightshade queasy. She wasn't even going to explore the flying possibility. Blackhawk noticed Nightshade was quiet and if it were possible for her to lose her color she would have. "You look like you're about to purge your tanks. Are you okay?"

"I'm glad the idea of being off the ground is good for you but just the thought of heights makes me sick."  
Blackhawk chuckled softly. "Okay, but you need something. It would be hard to explain you being here so long and not having an earth alt mode considering no one else is supposed to know you were ever anything but what Cybertronian.

"Well" she answered. "Part of my story is that I was here doing research so I need something rugged that blends in well. "  
They approached the freeway and were hiding in some bushes. "When you see something suitable scan it and let's go."

"Ok, How?" She asked.

How? Blackhawk was getting frustrated. He didn't realize how many things that come so naturally would seem so alien to one who until a few days ago was well…an alien. "Focus on it. Do you see queries come up on your HUD? When you do you'll know it. It will ask if you want to scan it. Answer yes. You will scan it and will feel your armor shift to accommodate the new form. Then you use the same thing to transform. You'll collapse into you alt form. It is natural for us as breathing is for organics. I promise. However you won't have long with vehicles driving down the freeway. So decide quickly"  
Nightshade cycled her vents. She saw a hummer approaching and decided that would do. She could see the armada in the distance now and knew time was really short. She had to get this right. She did just as Blackhawk said and felt the shift. It almost threw her off balance. She hoped she wouldn't have to do it often. She didn't imagine they changed alts too often. "Great now transform real quick before we have to leave." Blackhawk told her. "You want to be experienced and used to the sensations before you transform on the Nemesis." Nightshade did and thought she would hit the ground as her frame collapsed. She drove in a few circles and then transformed again. She almost fell as she got back to her pedes and her center of gravity shifted back up.

"Wow. I must say driving takes on a whole new meaning when you are the car! I'm not sure I will ever get used to that"

"I've commed Lord Megatron. He is expecting you and wants to meet you immediately when we board. When I transform grab my wing and we will rejoin the armada and return to the Nemesis. They were ambushed by Autobots and are retreating back for repairs. We will fall in." The thought of flying made her nauseated, especially the thought of flying outside the plane. This day was getting stranger by the minute and she was sure she would wake up soon. She reached for his wings. "Not yet. Not in this form. Grab them once I'm a jet. Wings are sensitive like this." He transformed and Nightshade was in shock. She took his wing and held on for dear life.

In her panic Nightshade gripped Blackhawk's wing so hard it was causing him pain. "I won't let you fall, Nightshade" Blackhawk assured her as he magnetized the top of his left wing. He laughed. "I never thought I would use this upgrade to attach a femme to myself. Mention this to no one or I'll never live it down. I'll hurt you if you do. Oh, and you're not hearing voices in your head. This is your comm system. You can answer me on this frequency."  
Nightshade began to relax, but she still wasn't sure she was not going to purge her tanks. "Thanks, but whatever happens from here on I'm just going to go with it without much question. I'm still not sure I'm not dreaming." 

"We will be home shortly. Seriously, a piece of advice when you meet Lord Megatron stay calm, be respectful, and you should be fine."

"I have no problem respecting authority" she answered. Nightshade never considered herself rebellious and did what she could to stay out of trouble and frankly to avoid any confrontation with authority figures.  
Home, she heard that word and finally reality hit. She wasn't human anymore. She wouldn't be able to see her home. She must be reported missing now and they won't find her body. There would be a memorial service and she would be dead to her family and friends. She would have a new home now, new friends and a new family. Her old ones wouldn't understand even if she could go back. She felt she might lose it but realized this would be a bad place for that. She considered Darwin's theory. You survive only if you adapt and adapt she would, if this turned out to in fact not be a dream. She survived to become a different species after all. She had to consider this just another step in evolution. She had evolved and she would adapt. She thought she remembered her captor saying something about she would survive because she was different. I can do this. I have to. She told herself.

She became aware they were slowing and entered a large black space craft. Here we are, Home sweet Home. Nightshade, Welcome aboard the Nemesis." She got off as Blackhawk transformed. The damaged mechs headed for the med bay "Well, let's go see Megatron"

They stepped onto the bridge of the Nemesis. Nightshade's optics had adjusted to the dim red lighting but even in the relative darkness it was difficult to miss the towering silver mech standing there and his glowing red optics locked on her. "Good evening Nightshade. It is good to meet you. We have much to discuss" the warlord greeted Nightshade. Fear gripped her spark. She understood immediately why she was warned to stay calm and why he was in charge. She remembered she was more valuable to him alive right now. He looked at Blackhawk. "You may leave us now." Megatron turned back to Nightshade. "It seems you have had an interesting encounter with one we have been following. It seems he has achieved what he set out to do. Are you aware of others like yourself? Tell me everything you remember!"  
Nightshade took a nanoclik to get her thoughts together. "No, sir. I don't believe there were any others like me. Not because they didn't try. I wasn't their first attempt."

"The beginning, Nightshade." The warlord interrupted. He was already beginning to lose patience.

"I was coming from the lab. It was dark. Someone grabbed me from behind and said something about me getting to contribute to science in a huge way and informed me that humans are indeed not alone in the universe. I heard another voice, a cybertronian one tell him to shut up. He said something about humans being foolish but saw something in me he believed to be different. I was shot with something. I head a sound, someone transforming, and then felt myself being lifted in a helicopter. I woke up in terrible pain. It was like I was being cut, burned, electrocuted and having a heart attack. I went unconscious again. "

"How do you know you weren't first?" Megatron asked.  
"When I woke up they were arguing. They thought I was dead like the others. The cybertronian said I wasn't. He said there was something different about my blood or brainwaves and that I would be one of them. They argued about payment and the cybertronian said he tolerated them because he needed soldiers. I broke out of my bonds and as soon as I heard explosions outside I left. Blackhawk found me. He said something about wanting to rip out his spark. I would have liked to myself."

"Interesting" Megatron replied. "Thank you. You have been very helpful, and I believe you will continue to be so. You know the area and have seen what he is capable of. Would you know him if you saw him again?"

"It was dark. I am completely sure I would recognize his voice if I heard it. I'm not sure I would know him by sight alone." She answered.

"Well enough. Knockout will be waiting to see you. Should he declare you fit, I have two things I do not tolerate, weakness and treason. You will train and prove yourself strong and loyal or you will be terminated. It will be painful. Blackhawk will escort you to the med bay." Megatron turned back to the main computer, and commed Knockout to inform him of a new recruit. He told Knockout only to be thorough. Just then the door slid open and Blackhawk entered. .

"Wow, impressive. I have seen mechs go into involuntary stasis or nearly purge their tanks after their first meeting with him. Great job. You look as if you just had a chat with an old friend." Blackhawk told her. 

"I certainly don't feel like that. I understand wanting to purge!"  
They arrived at the med bay just in time to hear an energon chilling scream. "Oh yeah, Doc's designation may be Knockout but that doesn't necessarily mean he always believes in anesthesia. I think sometimes he is a little bit sadistic, especially since the loss of his partner. He says Breakdown was just his assistant but the warship has optics and audios everywhere. There was more to it than that but you didn’t hear that from me. He takes the loss out on others now.” Blackhawk warned her. 

"I'll try to remember to remain undamaged" she whispered.

“Good idea.”

The door to the med bay opened. Knockout had his back to it and was repairing Starscream's wing and shoulder. "Oww! Doctor! The wing is sensitive you know. Oww!" Starscream said squirming.

"I know that, commander! Now for the hundredth time, hold still. This is delicate circuitry.”  
Starscream just grunted something unintelligible.  
"Look, personally I don't care if you ever fly again. However, what good is a grounded seeker to Lord Megatron? I'm sure Blackhawk would love to take over command of the armada at the least and I am sure he would love to replace you as SIC as well” He checked the connection and made other adjustments. “He should anyway. He has better sense than to fly blindly into an Autobot ambush. Do I need to check you optics and processor afterwards, or were you trying to offline yourself in a blaze of glory?" He glared at the commander. "I spent a long time repairing this you know. l should have just gotten you a bright pink replacement one. It would have looked stunning with a purple servo and your thrusters I'm sure and I would have been through half the armada by now" he laughed and turned off the pain receptors in Starscream's arm and finished quickly.

"Well, you can start now." Starscream barked as he got off the berth.

"No, I have a maintenance check to complete on a new recruit first. I believe I just heard him enter."

"Him? Starscream said as he pushed past Knock Out. "If that's a mech, I'm Primus!"

"Get out of here before I decide you need that cosmetic surgery commander!"

"I’d gladly leave your torture chamber, however she is undamaged. I have those from the fight that need attention, Knockout. I am your commanding officer, you know."

Knockout noticed the dried energon on her shoulder and ran his razor sharp finger lightly across the cut, some of the dried energon flaked off on his finger and he once again nicked the cut. "Undamaged is she?' he said as he held the bit of dried and fresh energon in the seeker’s face. "I understand you are lacking in a knowledge of physiology and as a result I suppose you think femmes randomly leak energon? Well they don’t!” His optics were alight with fury at the seeker. “Besides I have orders from Lord Megatron. If you would like to discuss it with him I will be waiting to replace your limbs again when that conversation ends, should he actually decide to let you live this time. I can't reignite sparks you know, even if I had their frame." The last sentence he said in a growl.

He turned to Nightshade and scanned her quickly. It was as if she felt his optics go through her. She had never had the so called white coat syndrome but thought there is a first for everything. She was still not completely convinced she wasn't Alice in wonderland and would wake up from this dream.

He gave her an apologetic look. "So, Nightshade, I'm Knockout. Forgive the commander for being rude. He was just leaving." He gave Starscream a warning look as the door slid closed behind him. "And forgive me for this” He said as he washed her energon off his hand. “I'm sure you have made quite the impression around here as there are not many femmes aboard. The few femmes that once served here left an impression to say the least. Please, join me." He led her to the exam berth. "I hear you had an unfortunate encounter with M.E.C.H. You have my sympathies.” He looked at the floor for a nanoklick. “I too, suffered a loss at their hands. It is fortunate and impressive you were able to escape."

"I was able to outsmart and out run them. I hope I could have fought my way out. Glad it wasn't necessary. I was unconscious through most of it and have little memory of what happened before"

"Oh, I'll check for processor damage in a minute, but first things first." She winced as he touched her incision. "That is beginning to heal. It will, but left unaided it will leave an ugly scar. It would be dreadful to allow it to ruin your cute frame. I'll see to it that doesn't happen. Hold still. This may sting a bit." He pulled the small welder from the shelf above the berth and began to weld the cut closed. He was right, it stung more than a 'bit', but she resisted jumping. "Perfect! Now let me see if they did any damage to your spark chamber. Lay back for me and open up."  
Nightshade hesitated and Knockout mistook her confusion at his request as a sense of modesty. There was a slightly amused twinkle in his optics. "Shy, Nightshade?” he teased. “I must admit the last time I encountered a shy femme was almost 2 vorns ago. The most recent ones...well never mind that is another story entirely.” The amusement in his voice left and he looked at her with a stern serious expression. “There is no telling what M.E.C.H, disgusting humans with their grimy oily hands, did to you...I need to see what kind of damage they did" He touched the edge of the wound and then the transformation seams along her chassis. "Here" he told her pressing the seam lightly. He grinned. "If it would make you more comfortable I could turn away. However it will be pointless as I need to see it anyway."

Suddenly it clicked and Nightshade understood. 'my heart' she told herself and transformed her armor back.

Knockout probed the wires just under her frame. “Does it hurt through here? Hea asked. She shook her helm. Knockout connected his deep scanners to her medical ports scanned her spark chamber and spark. "Perfect, better than perfect actually. If they were trying to dissect you they were clueless. They seemed to know much more than they did last time they pulled a stunt like this.” He muttered. “it is fortunate.” He continued with the scans. “It is like they were…oh never mind. Get up and transform." He commanded and disconnected the wires. She collapsed into her SUV that she had quickly scanned before boarding. "T-cog function is fine but you really need another form. A sporty alt to fit the normal you I'll help you find one later. For now back up here." He told her as he leaned on the berth. She's almost too perfect he thought. "What happened while you were there?" Knockout asked her again. "Do you remember anything?"

"Nope sorry. I was unconscious." Nightshade answered.

"Oh yes. Your processor may be damaged" Knockout connected her to the monitors and scanned her system but by no surprise to him it to was well within normal limits. "It is fine. Let me know when your memory comes back.”

" I was on Earth as a scientist studying the native life and looking for energon reserves which seem the planet seems to have a bountiful supply. I seem to remember I had an interest in medicine but beyond that. No I have no memory past the capture."

Knockout looked at her. "Science and medicine huh? You could work with me or perhaps Shockwave. Lord Megatron will find a place for you no doubt. You are physically perfect. You may go. I will send my report and Lord Megatron will let you know when he is ready for you."

Blackhawk escorted her out for a grand tour.


	4. Only Human

: Only Human?

It had been a busy couple of lunar cycles on the Nemesis. Nightshade was slowly beginning to adjust to her new life and she was beginning to view the Decepticons as her family. It was odd at first being the only female on board. She got a lot of "looks" but no one tried anything. Blackhawk was extremely protective of her when he was around much like a big brother would be. She was surprised that Knockout was growing protective of her. She was not sure what role he was in her "family" yet but the relationship was past simply professional. 

Nightshade later learned that the previous femmes had been quite intimidating and had a reputation. No one wanted to take unnecessary chances. She was quickly learning her weapons systems and battle techniques and actually enjoying fighting. The surprising thing to her was that that she was pretty good at fighting. She remembered overhearing something in the lab about needing soilders. Was that her purpose? If so it explained her natural gifting for it thought she always liked to avoid confrontation and especially fights as a human. She preferred close range hand to hand. Before the training she didn't realize how much grief she was really experiencing. It was helping her work through the anger phase.

When she wasn't working out she was studying. She snuck data pads in her quarters to learn the things she was supposed to already know about Cybertron and build her history. Nightshade learned about some questionable practices that went on during the early part of the war and began to piece together why she was selected in the experiment. The scientists attempted to "play Primus" in an attempt to get stronger smarter soldiers. It was frightening. While she liked her "upgrade" it came with its downfalls and she missed humanity. Was she supposed to be here? She heard Knockout mention her "perfection" Did he suspect something was amiss? With all that was going on as well as occasional skirmishes with the Autobots she had very little time to think about what might be happening with her old family which was fortunate. One skirmish brought with it an interesting weapon. It was a weapon that brought back feelings Nightshade thought she had dealt with and she wasn't alone.

"Breakdown's signal has come back online, albeit corrupted" Knockout announced. 

"Investigate with caution in case it is an Autobot trick" Megatron warned. 

Nightshade stood behind Knockout and the being who called himself C.Y.L.A.S. after they returned. He had a proposition for Megatron in exchange for being allowed to be one of them. Nightshade couldn't believe her audios. He wanted to be like this. What she would have given in that moment to not be. She felt only fury. She knew that although he wasn't directly involved Silas was the leader of MECH the parent group of the group that kidnapped her. She believed his desire to be Cybertronian and his whole attitude was mocking both humans and Cybertronians. Nightshade fought the urge to offline him with her own servos. Megatron wanted to see what he had. The skirmishes had been frustrating and anything to tip the scales in their favor would have been welcome. He already had a human factor that was working for him. Nightshade was sure Silas knew it too.

After Silas's failure Nightshade saw her opportunity. "Knockout," Nightshade asked as her optics glowed, "may I please assist you in the dissection or at least watch?" Knockout read her emotion and saw where she was going.  
"You like to take things apart too huh? Of course you may. I'll need you to document our findings. You may want to turn down your audios." He answered as he zapped Silas again with his energon prod.

"Yes, I am a scientist too and insatiably curious. As far as the audios go, No thank you. I’ll leave them on. I want to hear every scream. It is like music. Sweet revenge!" As she helped strap him down Nightshade had an idea. "You know, Lord Megatron mentioned he would be an interesting case for study but, it is Breakdown's body so other than neural connections to his human consciousness what would you really learn from simply dissecting him that you don't already know?" She thought a moment, "unless the rest of his body as well as his mind is connected. You could go for that!" Nightshade told him with a sadistic grin. " Surely he can contribute something to the cause other than our amusement anyway. And we can prolong the experience for him" Nightshade added with her own sadistic grin.

Knockout laughed. "You're right. I have been working on synthetic energon. It is unstable and has painful side effects. I wouldn't ask anyone to be a test subject after I saw what it did to the Autobot medic who was stupid enough to try it on himself however with this creature we could perhaps find a stable use. If not he can at least be a living petri dish" He transformed his buzz saw back to a hand. "I'll be back. I have to get the supplies."

"So you are the one they crossed over?" Silas asked as he struggled against his restraints. “So” he finally said giving into the fact that he wouldn’t get out of there with strength alone. “You’re the failed experiment? How long do you think you'll survive? Do you really think you're Cybertronian?" He teased.

Fury burned behind her optics and she fought to keep her vocalize stable. "I will definitely survive longer than you will, human." Nightshade finally answered. "Who's the experiment now, CYLAS?" Who does he think he is? I should knock him out now. Nightshade thought. She clenched her fists and continued. "Yes, I am Cybertronian. The very thing you only wish you were, parasite. You are an insult to both species!" With that she punched him as hard as she could in the voice box. "You talk too much. I'd rather you scream." She transformed her hands into cannons.  
Just then Knockout returned. "What? Now you want him in pieces. Femme, make up your mind." Knockout said as he turned his hand into his saw again. "Let's at least do it in an orderly way that won’t destroy my lab too." 

"Sorry Doc. Unicron has no wrath like a pissed off femme" She said.

"Well your training has paid off. You shut him up. Let's see if we can make him scream again." Knockout took some energon from Silas and then injected him with the synthetic energon. "We'll see where we are in the process. If this works it will be great for repairs and on the battle field."

Knockout saw Nightshade holding her servo. "Are you okay? Let me take a look."

"I'm okay. It will heal." Nightshade answered and took a few steps back. She feared what Knockout might have heard and she really didn’t want him touching her at that point or even looking too closely. She left the lab for a much needed recharge. The screams really were making her processor hurt.

Knockout heard the whole conversation between Nightshade and CYLAS. Nightshade wasn't Cybertronian? Of course she was. He examined her himself, and if she wasn’t what else could she possibly be? He knew a Cybertronian when he saw one. What was this crossover business? He knew they captured her but he was unsure what they had done to her. They almost destroyed Breakdown in what Knockout only assumed was the same thing, yet she survived and she was perfect. Perhaps too perfect. Knockout had more questions now about the pretty femme. Questions he would answer. He left to check on her and ask her about training. He strength alone was impressive though he had seen what femmes were capable of and after Arachnid he didn’t dare underestimate them. He put his things away for the evening and went to look for her, Nightshade left quickly and she hit Cylas hard and that concerned him more than a little bit.

He caught her coming out of her room. "I was going to check on your hand. That was quite a punch you put on his voice box. Besides Lord Megatron has something for us to do, being grounders. Come with me.” He was determined to get answers in a nontraditional way, without hurting her. Megatron forbid it and besides, in spite of his best efforts not to get close to another after Breakdown, Knockout was starting to genuinely like Nightshade. She was clever, brave, sarcastic, and almost as good looking as he was.

"Come on, Nightshade what is taking you so long. I'm sure you can go faster than that. Speed feels wonderful! I need actual competition in a street race. Human's reflexes are far too slow. You're not much better in that form. I could do circles around you." He laughed as he started to do just that.

"I don't think these were designed for speed. Durability yes however they don't allow for the acceleration of luxury sports cars.” She was defending herself. She didn’t understand why she felt the need to do so. Their relationship was getting interesting to say the least. “It was better than nothing. I was actually trying to blend in with my choice and not be flashy. How many humans actually drive Aston Martins in Jasper?" She replied trying to keep the defensiveness she felt from coming through in her voice. She didn’t need questions. However, it was like she really wanted to tell him. She didn’t think she could trust him yet though. He admitted his own morbid curiosity and she was not going to let herself become one of his specimens. 

"Oh come on. You can be fast and attractive without being flashy, as you call it. And yes, I am the only one. That was intentional. Humans from all over this planet build cars.You can choose a model made on this continent if you want. Also, as far as fast goes there is nothing wrong with running if you don't want to fight and run the risk of off lining, or worse ruining a perfect finish."  
Just off the interstate there was a small dealership. Knockout convinced Nightshade to pull off just for a nanoclick to see if anything fast but practical caught her optic. After riding down several rows Knockout spotted a corvette. "That would work perfectly. It is sporty faster than your current alt, and nice looking."  
Nightshade transformed and scanned it. She felt her armor shift to accommodate her new form. It made her shiver. She still wasn't used to the feeling of her parts sliding around. Even though it had been weeks she still wasn't used to the sensation of collapsing into her vehicular mode and having her center of gravity change when she transformed back. She didn't think she ever would.

"See," Knockout told her. "Now aren't you glad I fixed that cut so that it wouldn't leave a noticeable scar. It would be obvious now. Come on transform and try it out. Let's race to those coordinates. We have a job to do"

Knockout arrived at the designated spot moments before Nightshade and realized they had found a fortune in energon and that they were alone. Knockout commed Megatron and informed him of their find. He reiterated the need to work quickly and to bring as much as they could carry. They loaded up and headed back toward the Nemesis without incident. Knockout decided that the trip back would be slower. They could race again later. He wanted to try to get answers. Diving right in wouldn't work. He saw how she reacted to Cylas and didn't want to anger her. Lead by example, Knockout. You're sly. He thought. He'd bring up his thoughts on the last week and see if she would take the bait and spill her innards as the humans saying goes

It turns out he wasn't alone in that train of thought. Nightshade had noticed the way Knockout acted to Cylas's arrival and she was naturally curious. He said he had experienced a loss at their hands. Did they hurt him or were they the ones that did Breakdown in? "Knockout," she finally said aloud grabbing the red mech's attention, "I know you said you had a loss at M.E.C.H's hands. I assumed it was to you but I saw the way you reacted when that parasite came on board in Breakdown's body. If I may ask, what happened? They didn’t do any damage to you, to your frame I mean? Clearly it was something they did to him. Right? You were close?' She asked as she tried to piece together the snobbish mech's history. He was of course ok to play along.

"Nightshade, it is unwise to get too close to anyone during a war. Lord Megatron frowns upon it. He believes it is a distraction and requires the only commitment a Decepticon should have is to the cause, and well, him as leader of the cause. Bonds are weakness as far as he is concerned anyone. That is a huge reason why there are not many femmes in our ranks. Not because they can't be but usually they are more interested in forming bonds and usually have a soft spark. You can't kill if you have a soft spark. You're weak. I choose not to show it, for my own self- preservation. However, I am not spark less. Well at least not totally spark less anyway." Knockout laughed softly at his last comment.

"You had a bond with Breakdown? Was he your spark mate?" Nightshade realized what she was doing and stopped herself. She was curious but she had boundaries. He looked at her in a way she had never seen and she worried she angered him. That of course was the last thing she wanted. "Sorry, not my business" she quickly said.

"No," Knockout answered her. He feared she could tell he was lying "We weren't that close. Besides despite being great with a rotary buffer and a good body guard he simply wasn't my type.’ Knockout tried to make his story sound believable. “I have known him for a long time. We met at the beginning of the war before I ever chose a side. I was a freelance medic working for both sides. Megatron needed a medic and he heard of Breakdown and what he did as part of the combiner team. He, along with my former mentor convinced us to join up. Seems to have the best chance of winning. So I did. It gave me steady resources so I didn't have to keep scavenging. Breakdown lived for battle. Consequently he got himself shot up more times than not. I repaired or replaced every part of him at least once. So no one knew him better. So yeah, when that fragging human took him it infuriated me.” He grew silent for a nanoklick. “I tend to take it out on everyone around me. Cylas has given me the perfect reason not to take it out on the other mechs. Megatron gets upset when I use vehicons for experiments and as much as I would like to I can’t take the commander apart circuit by circuit. I have to admit revenge has been most fun. Breakdown would have loved it."

It is my turn to play 20 questions, Nightshade. You get to tell me what all you have discovered studying the humans all this time, and why you are so interested in lesser life forms. It is almost like you have a bond with them. I wonder why" Knockout said with a smirk on his face plates. So care to tell me what you have been thinking about lately, Mein Schatz?” he laughed at the title he had given her. “Why the obsession with humans?" Knock Out asked.

"To be such simple creatures, basically water bags supported on calcium struts with a few traces of iron, potassium, sodium and other random elements, they are quite complex." She answered. "I am referring to their belief systems. They are extremely superstitious, even though most of them claim to be enlightened and beyond the need for faith. They claim to look for natural reasons behind things fight wars over different beliefs and make fun of those who believe anything, yet turn and call very natural things 'acts of God' after claiming they don't believe in such a being. There are so many different beliefs yet each individual is so sure he alone is right. They kill and die for this. It is absurd. I know it is far out of my element but it is interesting. "

This was the last thing Knock Out expected and he wasn't sure how to respond. He went along with it. "Each culture has its own set of rules, Nightshade. What is acceptable varies. Views of life and even," he paused, "beauty differs. Though I agree it is better to struggle for power or at least something tangible rather than something that may or may not be. I follow this planet's isocracies too. I want to know what we are conquering. They have innovative ideas. Ever watched a horror movie?” he laughed almost nervously. “Sorry I am getting off track. We are no exception. Our religion centers around power struggles, and identity crisis. We make it relate to where we are at that point in time. "

Nightshade hadn't considered that. "You're right. I have just recently come to the conclusion that there may be some truth to all of it. You don't fear death if you believe we will all be one in the Well do you? You don't fear it if you believe you're immortal. Perhaps that is not a weakness but a strength. Fear is a weapon but you can’t know for sure if it is going to work. If you don't have it, obviously the enemy can't use it against you so we tell ourselves this to keep up the power struggle. At least at the end of it though Primus is fair. He won't favor one Cybertronian over the other I guess. " her frustration and even fear was beginning to come out. She needed to recharge.

"Don't be afraid schone dame. We are winning and we will be around a while. We are far enough away from Starscream and Lord Megatron. Let race. I'll try not to run you off the road." Knock Out laughed as he transformed and kicked up dust behind him.


	5. Family Matters and New Perspectives

Chapter 5 Family Matters and New Perspectives

Nightshade was tired, so much so that she recharging was becoming difficult. It seemed that she had way too much information to process. She gathered up all the data pads she could on recent Cybertronain history specifically the political situation just before the war, the schisms between the Decepticons and Autobots, and technological developments the Decepticons made. She came across some that she quickly believed she was never supposed to see, specifically on D.N.A and C.N.A research. The Decepticons apparently toyed with some less than ethical practices in an attempt to get stronger smarter solders. There were articles on cyber forming individuals and even entire planets. She found the details on exactly what happened to her and she was sick. 

She read them and wondered if amputating her limbs and giving her Cybertronian ones would have been easier. She pushed aside the idea. One thing was certain and that was she didn’t want to think about it. Hopefully there wouldn’t come a time when she needed to recall it. She never asked for it and was more than a little bit surprised she survived.  
The whole atmosphere seemed to have shifted. Nightshade couldn't place it but things were definitely more tense than it had been in previous weeks. Shockwave recently came back on board with ideas about how to speed along the process of forming synthetic energon. He was also working on a shady cloning project. Nightshade had been assigned to observe him for a while due to her knowledge of planet earth. Megatron only informed Shockwave that she had been on earth longer than any of the others and had been specifically researching the humans and organic life. Nightshade began to understand his reasons for cloning and cyber matter research synthetic energon and she didn't like his reasons at all.

She and Knockout had been working on it for almost an earth year now. The plan was to have it for surgeries and battlefield wounds. Shockwave mentioned it was a major ingredient in cyber-matter. That she determined was ultimately what changed her. Megatron spoke of victory being just around the corner. He said it would be swift and Cybertron would be his. However, Nightshade overheard him talking with his scientists about ruling Earth as well, a cyber-formed Earth. It was all she could do to continue like the information didn't bother her. It was more difficult to pretend to be excited about it. Blackhawk was out on more missions and she had no one to vent her frustrations to so her attitude was terrible. It made her more determined not to allow anything to happen to her family, her biological one or her new Cybertronian one. That was assuming she could still consider any of the Decepticons as family members.

Megatron sent the armada, Shockwave, Knockout and Nightshade down to do some preliminary scouting of the planet for information on the best places to begin the cyber-forming as soon as the energon was ready.  
Nightshade's depression and bad attitude was not lost on Knockout. "Primus, Nightshade do tell, what is wrong with you? You actually seem unhappy about this. We are winning. We will have two homes in the process.” She remained quiet as if trying to come up with an appropriate lie and Knockout caught on. “ Please don't tell me you care about the humans that much. You said they were superstitious. They will assume the gods are coming as the world ends." Nightshade only shook her helm. She was glad at this point that she didn't have the physical ability to cry. "Are you going soft? You joined us. Are you really one of us? Are you really even Cybertronian?" At that point Nightshade snapped like she did with CYLAS months ago. Anger and grief washed over her again as coolant rushed from her faceplates and she turned on him.

"My family is important. My planet is important. I won't let them be hurt like I was. You're right. I am not what I seem." She turned only to hear Knockouts buzz saw. 

"What are you then? Megatron's orders to the pit. I'll dissect you where you stand" He put it right at her chassis and bits of paint began to flake off "Unless you talk and I mean now!"

Nightshade was completely numb to the point she couldn’t feel the blade she could only feel fury and grief. "I'll tell you truth. Truth is I lied to protect myself from further pain. I wasn't born Cybertronian and I didn't choose to be one. I was taken from my studies by one of you, a 'con, and given to M.E.C.H. and cyber-formed. I was human. My biological family and old friends are all human.” She vented in an almost human sob. “I never want them to experience what I did. I don't want them to die either. Do you have any idea what that process is like, Doctor!" He said nothing so she continued. "I was burned, electrocuted with spark energy effectively stopping my heart and killing me. They didn't let me stay dead though. Every drop of blood was drained from by body and then my veins refilled with cyber matter and my heart restarted with the same electricity. It flowed through my veins melting them away as well as every other squishy organ replacing them with circuits and wires. My heart was ripped out and replaced with an Allspark fragment. I’m not sure how exactly but it formed my spark. I came to consciousness with an ache throughout my body. I wasn't first though, innocents were murdered in failed attempts. I lived because of blood chemistry/energon compatibility and neural/spark energy compatibility. It was a fluke." She screamed. "I won’t let it happen again."

Nightshade threw herself at Knockout with every ounce of strength she could find. "Get the frag off me now!" He threw her off as if she weighed nothing.” I told you I wouldn't hurt you. I won’t. Nightshade, listen to me-" She didn't believe him. She transformed and drove off. She constantly checked her mirrors expecting him to follow. He didn't and she almost lost it. He isn't coming she thought. He doesn't even care enough to come drag me back to Megatron for mutiny. She was so upset she didn't realize that was a good thing.

Knockout stood there fighting every impulse to chase her. He could have easily caught her too if their races had been any indication of her speed. He didn't because then he would have to bring her back. He wouldn't hurt her, nor would Megatron. He would not let her be sent to Shockwave. He was still in disbelief as that was the very last thing he expected to hear. He was furious with everything. He was furious it happened. He was annoyed that he allowed himself to be 'soft' to let himself get close to someone else. There was a reason to avoid any kind of feelings during war. People died. People deserted. Slag it to the pit he thought as he went back to work. He would come up with some kind of excuse as to why she left and where she went.

Nightshade drove for miles and several breems until she was far enough away for the cons to find her. She was lost but didn't care. She transformed to stretch her legs and found she was near a military base. "Slag. Primus does hate me" she said out loud. She was about to transform and drive off when she was approached by a large green mech. "Don't move 'Con" he ordered. Wrecker she thought. She had heard about them and he had to be one.

"I'm not going to beg for my life Autobot. It isn't worth it. Just terminate me quickly and promise me you will do the same to every last Decepticon in the universe." Nightshade whispered. 

"That has always been the plan" he answered. Nightshade welcomed death at the hands of an enemy. She heard the click of his weapons and braced herself. After all she already died once.   
In the distance there was a deep commanding voice. "Bulkhead, wait" The next thing she knew she was surrounded by headlights.

Optimus 'requested' that Nightshade follow the five Autobots back, although she knew it wasn't just a request. She wasn't going to argue. She was in no mood to fight. She never wanted to be involved in this war anyway. He story aboard the Nemesis was that she was a neutral. Why couldn't she just be one? Her thoughts began to wander and it wasn't long before the convoy of 'Bots and ex-'Con rolled into the Autobot base.  
It took Nightshade a while to get over the shock. They didn't kill her after all. It was a fact that went against everything she expected and believed about her former enemy, and she still wasn't sure what was coming. She was almost expecting them to torture her for information. She didn't think they had a psychic patch, so she expected it to be purely physical. She braced herself for the scalpels. She saw the way Starscream and later Shockwave handled prisoners. Why else did the Prime want her alive? Still any interrogation methods they could use were better than what she would get at Megatron's servos. She had seen first-hand Decepticon 'mercy'.

Still the biggest shock to Nightshade was seeing humans at the base, normal seemingly healthy humans, working alongside the Autobots. It was the first time since having a full understanding of what was going on that she felt genuine hope. They didn't stay long. Ratchet hurried them out of the way as a precaution. As far as they knew they had a dangerous Decepticon prisoner. That was what finally broke Nightshade out of her contemplative mood.

"What is going on? What is your mission?" the Prime asked Nightshade after they sat down. He was unusually patient.

"As odd as it sounds all I want is to get away from war, from the Decepticons, from death, pain, and disappointment. I wish more than anything I could go home. I want my family back; I'd take the cons back if they were not so deceptive."

"Decepticons are deceptive, really?" Ratchet asked his words dripping with sarcasam.

What was with Cybertronian Medical personel? Where they all sarcastic? The connection between that fact and their name finally sank in and Nightshade laughed. "That is the most infuriating. What they plan on doing to Earth, to my friends, my planet" Nightshade realized she sounded very much like a lost sparkling in spite of her training. She didn't care. She was tired of games and tired of lies. She felt very much like a child. The bots didn't hide the fact that this was not what they were expecting.

"Your planet? You mean Cybertron, correct?" asked Arcee.  
No, I mean Earth, they want to cyber form it and effectively destroy everything that isn't as lucky as I" Nightshade sighed "I sound like a sparkling, I am sorry. "Nightshade acknowledged. "It has been a long 18 months." She vented slowly. "I guess you want the beginning of the story."

"No! Primus…No!" was all Ratchet was able to say after hearing her story. He picked up his hand held scanner and studied it. "If I wasn't looking at you I would say it isn't even possible. I'm still not sure I trust my optics or my scanners."

"It is possible doctor. It happened. Promise me you wont dissect me and I'll prove it." She said staring at the white and orange Autobot. Nightshade got up and walked to the other side of the room. "I'm relieved that you have been defending Earth. It helps to know I'm not doomed to being evil or alone, as ridiculous as that sounds, I was beginning to think I may have to offline myself. I've never been suicidal before though. I usually have it more together." Gotta think like a scientist again, she thought. "I will give you any information I have about the current stage in the process. I don't think they are far from ready but the Synth-En in cyber matter is still unstable. They never got the formula from the renegade 'Con that did this to me. I want to defend my biological family. I want to get back at those that betrayed me"

"Any help you can offer will be appreciated, Nightshade. We will do everything we can to not let it come to that. We have come to consider this our home as well." Optimus said. "I want to caution you not to fight for the wrong reasons. Vengeance is a wrong reason. Until you get used to these differences I suggest you not actually engage them in battles. You will stay at base, use your talents, work with Ratchet and perhaps we can beat the cons to the formula and save Cybertron. Ratchet is rough around the edges but he will be a good guardian and teacher for a little while"

"Ay I heard that Optimus!" Ratchet muttered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, she is an Autobot now...More to come


	6. Hope's Sparkling

Chapter 6 Hope’s Sparkling

After several what seemed to Nightshade like megacycles and thousands of questions the Autobots were sure Nightshade wasn't a threat to them and wasn't going to go back to the Decepticons they let her meet the kids. It had been more than a little bit challenging to win over Bulkhead as he was really nervous about letting her around Miko. As it happened Miko was the most excited about having her around and learning she wasn’t a con. He backed down when Miko ran up to her. She knelt to be eye leve with the young girl. She told them it had been too long since she could interact with humans who didn't want to kill her or that she didn't want to kill.

Miko wasted no time getting to the spark of the matter. "So welcome to Team Prime, also known as the good guys.” She never stopped moving the whole time she was speaking and Nightshade had to fight from laughing. “Bulk here says you weren't always a bot. That is cool. Make me one too!" Miko said.

"No absolutely not!" Ratchet answered from behind her before Nightshade had a chance to respond. 

"Believe me,” Nightshade told her, “you really don't want to experience what it took to be like this." She dropped her voice as she hated thinking about it and she definitely wasn't going to explain it again to a teenager.

"The universe isn't ready for a Mikobot anyway" Jack told her noticing the look in her optics. "You'd be dangerous to more than just cons if you had weapons and wheels. You'd hurt us and yourself!" 

Miko just rolled her eyes.

"So If you could be human again would you?" she asked Nightshade. Nightshade hesitated in her response and Miko assumed the answer was no. "See I told you it is a good thing"  
Nightshade ex vented and realized there was no way she was going to avoid explaining it again. It frustrated her because she wanted a nanoklick or even an astrosecond to rest before another interrogation.l She imagined the kids would come up with a worse series of questions. She knew her old friend would anyway. Miko reminded Nightsade of a younger version of her roommate. 

"Miko, I would never wish this on anyone. If it were possible, and if I could do it without the pain of getting this way then more than likely I would. I lost everything. My family thinks I'm dead, my dreams of being a doctor are gone. I couldn't tell the first 'friends' I had in fear of them killing me. I'm an alien now. I have to start completely over. In so many ways I feel like I'm just a sparkling."  
Bumblebee rolled in as she was speaking. "Hey sparkling" Bee was almost laughing as he spoke.

"Sparkling? Bee I'm at least as old as you! I just said after all this I feel like one. " Nightshade told him.

"Hardly", Arcee corrected her. "Bee has a couple of million years on you, Nightshade."

"I didn't mean literally of course. If you take into account the life span differences. He is young." Nightshade said. "I guess I'm just looking for common ground. "You like to race Bee? That was something I picked up from Knockout. Of course, I'll race fairly, without the attempts to run you off the road"

"Sure thing. I will definitely take you up on the challenge later. If we can sneak out. Right now I have to take Raf home before he gets in trouble. See ya in a few." Bee told her as he let Raf in and left.

Ratchet never left his position behind her but it was as if she forgot he was there. He liked Prime’s order less and less but If Nightshade was going to be his charge for a few weeks he wanted to really know what he was up against. It had been a couple of million years since he had been around younglings for an extended period of time. Yes, Nightshade was at least a youngling. Judging by the end of the conversation he wasn't sure if he had the patience for it. Bee was like that at first when he signed up. His family was gone and he was looking for a place among us. The war and his experiences made him grow up. Nightshade will too. I'm sure she has already in such a short time. He told himself. Perhaps we have something in common despite the age and experience. I'll will make this work. For my sanity and Pirme's.

"Nightshade, don't get Bee in trouble now. You're right he is young. He has done some juvenile things in the past that almost got him off lined, but he is also wise beyond his years. He was part of the last generation to be born on Cybertron. He lost much too." Ratchet told Nightshade.

"Yet he still continues to hope, in spite of everything?" Nightshade asked with some hint of disbelief.

"Sometimes that is all we have to hold on to. It is why we fight. We hope for better things. Having another planet and something outside of ourselves to fight for gave us hope too. Let me ask you something. Why did you want to offline? You lost your hope didn't you? I saw something in your optics when you met Miko. She too is young and inspires hope, when she is not breaking things like her clumsy guardian." He looked at the mess that still needed cleaning from the last piece of equipment he smashed up. “She gave you back your hope didn't she? And if I am not mistaken the prospect of racing Bee gave you joy. Ratchet told her.  
Nightshade could see Ratchet was definitely perceptive. She guessed that was a good thing. It would save her from having to say things later maybe. "You're right" she said finally. "It has been hard. I was ready to quit. I tried to imagine it as natural evolution and somehow I was better than all the others. I tried to keep busy to keep myself from thinking too much but I had to read several files on Cybertronian history at least to know things that were common knowledge so that I could keep up the lie. I am so tired of secrets."

Ratchet shook his helm. "Ay ay Nightshade, there is absolutely nothing natural about any of what happened to you and you know that. I look at you and I see Cybertronian. I believe you were human but truth is I really don't want to believe it. The cons were doing some unethical things at the beginning of the war but it surprises me that eve they would stoop as low as to involve another species. It is pure desperation on their part, and none of it will be right. However you are you and you make the best of what is given to you.”

Nightshade could only guess where this conversation was going and she didn’t want to stop and think about it too much. The fact that she didn’t kept her sane, but the strange thing was how little effort it took on her part. 

“Part of that is allowing yourself to grieve. You're not immune to that as a Cybertronian and running from it is just as bad for you now as it was for you as a human. You need to process everything that happened to you. You simply can not pretend it didn't happen. It is part of healing. We have protocols that we can engage to detach ourselves from feelings in battle. That is necessary to keep ourselves alive but afterwards we have to process it." Ratchet told her.

She was unsure how she missed battle protocols. She was still struggling with getting adjusted to her frame but her processor was really throwing her off. She looked at the floor and shook her head in silence.

"On a different subject I think Knockout has had a bit too much influence on you. You need to get him off your processors immediately. I will never understand femme's desire to flirt with danger and even worse dangerous mechs."

"Maybe, but Knock Out is…" Nightshade decided not to continue that discussion and shrugged it off. She was not yet ready to talk about that and she wasn't sure she would be for a while. She was still bitter and she would work it out. She knew Ratchet was right too. He definitely would not approve of her if he knew what she thought about Knockout. She was mentally kicking herself as it was. She wasn't sure how she knew he would disapprove so strongly. Maybe she knew this because her dad would not have approved either and for some strange reason Ratchet reminded her of her dad.  
Ratchet just shook his helm. He wouldn't push that subject just yet. "Nightshade, did I hear you say you were studying biology in college and had hopes of being accepted into medical school when you graduated?".

"Yes," she answered. "I planned on becoming a surgeon…like my dad." Her voice was suddenly soft.

"Is that something that still appeals to you? I mean if this war drags on much longer and we find more Autobots to join the cause I will definitely need help. I am no youngling like yourself. If this war ends soon and we are able to restore Cybertron and it can sustain life, we will need new doctors. We will need someone to teach the new generation." He had only considered that part recently. "I will teach you."  
Nightshade could barely believe her audios. She had lost hope of that dream too with the thought of having to start completely over. She had given up on formal training. "Yes! Please!' she answered.

"Ok absolutely no slagging off! You will have to work hard." He turned and grabbed some data pads off the counter. "Read these this weekend. No time to waste. We don't have that luxury. We also unfortunately don't have the luxury of the labs on Cybertron so this will be an interesting and educational experience for both of us. It will be hands on field work I am afraid. "

"I won't slag off" Nightshade promised. "Well then" Ratchet told her. "Welcome to Repair School you will be busy the next few days" he muttered "sparkling mine" under his breath.  
She was determined to make him proud, just as proud as her own dad would be if he could know. She was trying to process it all. Nightshade had never given birth but she imagined excitement and joy after hours of pain. She thought it was something like this. Perhaps she had given birth in a figurative sense. She gave birth to hope's sparkling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I have action chapters coming. I had to get through introductions.


	7. Battle Scars

Chapter 7: Battle Scars

Nightshade took the data pads from Ratchet and wasted no time getting started. Her first task was reading chapters in Cybertronian Structure and Circuitry. Studying was something she was used to by now and it felt right. She was relieved she could actual read the texts out in the open and not pretend, she was also very thankful she could actually ask questions, even the basic ones, without arousing suspicion. She learned quickly Ratchet was demanding but fair and glad to share his knowledge. 

Studying also allowed her to get into some kind of normalcy now that she didn't have to keep anymore secrets. There were humans around most of the time and she almost felt like she was back at University. She could focus on the quiet of the eye of the storm and pretend for a little while that there wasn't an intergalactic war going on around her. She just hoped things stayed quiet long enough to get some studying in. She was nervous though because the last 48 hours had been too quiet. The end of the third decaorn away from the cons was just as unnerving. What were the Decepticons up to? Was the cyber matter complete? She doubted they could move that fast, but as far as she knew both Decepticon scientists were working on it and they were way ahead of what she and Ratchet had managed. Had they started? That was definitely a real possibility and If not it would be soon? Much to Nightshade's dismay her first interruption wasn't a con threat. It was a much smaller albeit just as loud 'threat'.

The teenagers ran into the base. "Hey Night, watcha doin?" Miko asked as soon as she noticed her sitting there.

"Studying I have homework now," Nightshade answered more than a little bit annoyed. She appreciated Miko as part of her that was missing but like her old roommate with her carefree oblivious attitude she seemed to be a distraction at the most inopportune times.

"Studying? Homework? Ok so when did you go back to school? Besides it is the weekend. No one does homework on the weekend" Miko glanced at Raf. Well most people don't do homework on the weekend anyway"

Nightshade vented. "Sometimes you do depending on what you have to do and who your professor is. I promised mine I would work hard. Ratchet is taking me under his servo and I am going to be his apprentice. There will be time to play after this war is over, or I graduate. Whichever comes first. Although I am still holding Bee to that race we still haven’t done."

"Oooh another Doc Bot. That's cool. Where is everyone else?"

"Out monitoring Con activity. It has been way too quiet since I got here. Something is up. Considering I am not yet allowed to fight and I have a very demanding teacher I have found ways to keep out of trouble and be constructive. It would be a good idea if you did the same.” She used the interruption as an excuse to stretch. “As illogical as it sounds I have a very bad feeling that it is going to get chaotic around here very soon." Nightshade warned her. She tried unsuccessfully to sound threatening. That was one gift she never did pick up on the Nemesis. She just wasn't scary.  
Miko shrugged and went to play a game while waiting for Bulkhead to get back from where ever he went. They had learned to expect the unexpected around base. As luck or unluck would have it Nightshade was right.

The quiet ended at that moment as Optimus' voice came over the link. "Secure the base and open a ground bridge. We have a prisoner."

Nightshade quickly jumped to her pedes. She wasn't expecting this. She knew Optimus wanted the kids to stay away for safety's sake and she imagined he would want her to stay away too considering her history with the Decpticons. However, she had no intention of staying away. She knew she wasn't going back but her curiosity got the best of her at times. She wanted to know who and a huge part of her wanted revenge. She knew from her own interrogation that the Autobots would go easy on him, something she knew was a horrible idea. Besides, it was only natural that she wanted revenge. She took Ratchet’s advice and stopped pretending she was something she wasn’t. She knew Optimus warned her against that but it all brought back feelings she was desperately trying to deal with. She made up her processor she would be there, and she was. It would be part of the healing Ratchet told her about. When she was sure they had whoever it was secured she left the kids and ran to the holding room. They followed her as she knew they would.  
Nightshade arrived with the kids and agent Fowler behind her. She couldn't believe her optics when she saw Soundwave of all bots lying there. She knew immediately they would get nowhere with him with their methods. She never heard him speak in a year and a half and he wasn't now. She had a better idea. One that Optimus wouldn't like but she was sure the others would go for it. She had subspaced a scalpel as soon as she heard about the con prisoner. Although she had no intention of actually using it she thought it wise to be prepared for anything. Now she was glad it was with her.

Nightshade heard Optimus tell him they had been fair and ask what Megatron was planning on doing with human technology. She pulled out her scalpel and walked past everyone. Ratchet saw what she had and it was obvious he was thinking along the same lines. “Hands on indeed. Who needs labs, Nightshade told Ratchet. We have a volunteer.”

"He is no ordinary Cybertronian, inside or out" Ratchet said.

"Yeah, open him up and get what we need straight from his drives as well as who knows what other kind of interesting information we might find." Nightshade finished.

"Soundwave: Superior. Autobots: Inferior" Soundwave said as he crashed his systems.

"Slaggit" Nightshade muttered as she put the scalpel away. "There was one structure lesson I was really looking forward to and we still don't know exactly how Megatron plans on completing his task. Where is that amount of stable energon going to come from?"

"Something is missing" Raphael pointed out. "Where is his drone? Where is Laserbeak?"  
At that moment he busted in and attacked. The humans took cover. He freed Soundwave and brought him back online.

"Oh slag no" Nightshade cried as the bots were knocked down one by one. Nightshade took a hit as she charged into Soundwave. He lifted his arm she tried to avoid running straight into it and she lost her balance. She felt the sting in her back as a blast from Lazerbeak grazed her plating. She fell and Nightshade could only watch as Soundwave drug her mentor off. She got a shot off. The drone fell from the air and she felt her secondary systems shut down and she off lined. 

"Oh scrap! Primus, why do you hate me so?" Nightshade said aloud as her systems quickly rebooted. She could think of only one thing, revenge. She didn't care what Prime or anyone else said or did. She was not going to lose another father figure to schemes of fragging cons.

The others on lined a few clicks earlier. The humans emerged from their hiding places and Raf was already working with what was left of Lazerbeak. At least I managed to inflict some damage on the con before he got me and ran like the coward he is. Unfortunately I failed and let him get away with Ratchet. Nightshade thought.

"Are you okay?" Arcee asked when Nightshade was not making any effort to get up quickly. 

"I’m fine" she replied as she got up. "Im still taking it all in, and uh planning. I will be on this rescue mission right?" Nightshade half asked have stated when she saw Optimus. "I can control my emotions now. Besides if they are indeed on the Nemesis I know my way around perfectly. Isn't it logical that I go?" 

Optimus was slightly amused by her defensive question. He already decided she would go. "Of course Nightshade." Don't worry we will get him back unharmed I know you aren't going in with the wrong intentions. I don't blame you for wanting this."

"I won’t fail this time" Nightshade commed back. 

"It is not about you. Focus. Whatever happens is not your sole responsibility. We are a team it would do you well to remember that." Optimus answered her

"How is the homing device coming along Ralphel?" 

"CHIP is now ready. He should lead us right to the Nemesis, or Soundwave at least. 

"CHIP? You named it CHIP?" Fowler asked. 

"Yeeah why not? We can call it Pit-spawn scrap as long as it works and we find Ratch." Nightshade said.

"He is transmitting as expected. We will have a lock shortly.

" Ok, I will go first. Arcee, Bee, Smokescrean and Nightshade are to follow as soon as you get my word. The wreckers will secure the bridge. We will go from there." The kids have a backup should the need arise. Nightshade was anxious. She tried to clear her processor. She knew what to do but tried to focus mainly on her repair/first aid skills and hoped she wouldn't need them. She kept telling herself that Ratchet would be fine.

Just as the wreckers, led by Ultra Magnus, took the ground bridge to the Nemesis Optimus picked up a signal indicating Decepticon activity outside the city. Optimus and Arcee's team went to investigate the signal. When Nightshade stepped out of the ground bridge she could barely believe her optics. She was standing practically in her childhood backyard. What are the cons up to now, she thought. They must know. Fear gripped her spark like ice and she felt the coolant leave her faceplates as her battle protocols engaged. This time she expected it. 

Behind her she heard Megatron's voice. "Optimus, so glad that you and the Autobots are here to witness the cyber-formation of earth. Your medic was very helpful in perfecting the cyber-matter.”   
He turned to Nightshade and his violet optics almost pierced her spark. “We decided we would honor our traitor by starting here and letting her watch her creators die first. She will of course follow along with you all as you join the all spark too. I believe, Nightshade or Autumn rather, this is where you grew up. Correct?"

"No!" Nightshade screamed as she charged full speed at the war lord and her former commander. "Leave them out of this. This is not their war. They have done nothing to you. They don't even know of your existence. Your problem is with me. So take it out on me. I didn’t realize you were a coward who would stoop as low as psychological attacks. Have you grown that weak!" Nightshade was surprised at her own courage as what she would have called adrenaline if she were human flushed her veins.

Megatron laughed. “You call me a coward? Nightshade you are more entertaining than other femmes who performed for my enjoyment. And yes the entertainment will continue when I watch you witness their demise as well as when I terminate you! Rest assured your termination is coming. What you say about the humans ins indeed true", Megatron continued, "but they will know of us for all of a nanoclick before they enter oblivion or whatever version of a well of all sparks you humans have. Besides You have done plenty. This is for your treason. I warned you it would not end well for traitors."  
Nightshade fired without hesitation at Megatron's spark but in her frustration missed. Optimus and Bee fired from behind distracting him just enough to get his attention away from the house and the humans inside.

Nightshade took that as her que and ran toward her old homestead. A nanoklick later she felt a sharp pain in her side. 

Starscream transformed and landed beside her. "Nightshade, or should I address you as Autumn Knight, what a pleasure it is to see you again. Your story is indeed an interesting one. My armada is on the way to bring you friend, Anna Leigh, to us. That is her designation, correct? You humans have such pointless and meaningless names that I can't remember. Anyway, we are planning on making her like us. Don't you think that is a wonderful idea. She will be Cybertronian too. No, she will be your replacement if she manages to survive. If not your creators will suffice. Something about human DNA they are likely to survive for the same reasons you did. I can’t be sure though. You humans are weak. Yes I said YOU humans." Starscream laughed. "You were like Cylas indeed. It doesn't matter now though" Starscream lifted his null ray and pointed it at her. Think about this before you join the all spark. Blackhawk told me about your past and your friend. He is actually loyal."

She managed to doge the null ray blast, but the blow of the words was almost physical. He was like a brother to her in the beginning. That had to be why Starscream brought it up. She didn't expect the cons to fight fairly. She wanted to give up but reminded herself of their name. it had to be part of their lie. She fired at him but in the process of dodging his shot she was off balance. Her processor was set on finding and warning Anna Leigh and her parents at all cost. She fired back determined not to miss. The smoke and dust was clouding her vision. 

She heard explosions all around. There would be no help now just her and the seeker. She felt a pain in her left shoulder. That was too close, she thought. She fired and caught him off guard as she was falling. She was about to transform when a random stray shot hit her in the mid-section. She grabed at the wound in an attempt to stop the energon flow. She was sure her ability to transform had now been compromised. She could still hear the seekers voice and feel the vibrations. He was close and she fired blindly. She felt the ground shake with the explosions. She was overheating quickly and felt she would pass out. She heard Starscream’s high pitched scream and assumed she managed to hit him then she heard him sound retreat. It was the last sound she heard before losing consciousness. Primus forgive me, she thought and felt nothing.

Nightshade on lined her optics only to see more darkness, as they grew accustomed to the blackness she could see purple lighting running along the ceiling. She realized she could feel nothing. She couldn’t move and it occurred to her she was in restraints. I can't be here, she thought. Her other systems began to online and she noticed the smell of energon, cleaning solvents and antiseptics. That confirmed it. She knew this place well. It was a med bay, Knock Out's med bay. The med bay of the Nemesis. She heard voices but couldn't make out who was speaking. "Doc?" she asked. No response. "Doctor?!" she asked again louder. She prayed silently that she would not find Shockwave. "Ah, Nightshade" the voice answered. Her spark froze. "Knockout?" she whispered.


	8. Answers in the Shadows

Answers in the Shadows

"Ip ip Hardly" came the reply. "I am far from being that overly egotistic, sadistic, pompous, conceited, vain aft of a con and for Primus' sake how many times do I have to tell you and Wheeljack not to call me doc?! If you must know Knock Out is here...if you insist on seeing him later. I know despite my warning you still have been thinking about him way too much. I have to ask again, What is with femmes and going after dangerous mechs? He is in the brig, however"

"Ratchet! You're okay!" Nightshade exclaimed when he was standing over her. Relief flooded through her.

"Yes, I was too valuable for them to damage me. Not that they didn't try after the cyber matter was complete. I had to add my research from months ago to what Shockwave and Knock Out were doing. I am definitely better than you have been anyway. You were out for quite a while and I am surprised you are online already. You took a bad hit. Fortunately it wasn’t as bad as it could have been."

"Ratchet, How long exactly was I out? Why are we on the Decepticon Warship? The cyber matter is still up here? I remember a discussion with both Megatron and Starscream and then attempting to drive off. All I could think about was saving my parents. But that can't be. We couldn't have been on their land. Could we? What exactly happened?” She fought against the restraints. “Why the need for these? She asked before she began to get dizzy and she fought to maintain consciousness. 

“That is why.” He answered, “You would try to move to quickly and damage yourself further, but to answer your other question, yep, all of that took place down there. The fact that your family was there was an added bonus for the cons.” He noticed her readings and the spike in her venting. “Don’t worry they were unhurt and better yet still unaware of our presence. Shockwave found something on the land that reacted and helped stabilize the cyber matter. After you and Bee were hit the battle turned to our favor. Things were going well and we were able to bring you up. The kids, the wreckers and myself were able to take down the ones that stayed aboard and we took control of the warship. I brought you up and repaired you the same way they repaired Bee. It was remarkable. I put you in induced stasis to allow you to rest and finish up the small repairs.

Her processor was still spinning from everything as she tried to piece together the battle. She was both relieved that her parents were unhurt and unaware yet part of her wanted to be able to tell them. She knew the risks and the fact that saying goodby again would hurt them more. "Ratchet, I want details. Fill me in on the battles. Please." Nightshade begged.

"I'll tell you what I know but I was here. I am sure they will all be more than eager to tell what happened first person." Ratchet answered.

Just as Ratchet was about to give Nightshade the long version of what took place and what he believed was going on down on the planet a voice came over the warship. "It is over. Megatron is no more"

"Well, I guess that answers our question. They will ground bridge up and we will head home. Even though Earth is smaller than Cybertron it is still possible to use what we have and restore the planet by using the planets core, the Well itself.

"Home" Nightshade thought. She had so many of them in such a short amount of time. She was ready for this. Peace and a chance for a new normal was always good. She tried once again to get up. “Ratchet, I am not going to hurt myself. Can you at least undo these?” Her vision was blurry but the room was no longer moving and she doubted she would purge her tanks.

"I guess so. You will want to see the view from the bridge when we get to Cybertron. Promise me you won’t try to overdo it. You are on medical leave and light duty after that. Absolutely no fighting and hold off on the races. Are you still okay?” Ratchet asked her as she stood. 

"I need to walk around and get the stiffness out of my joints. I'm not going back to battle or to the races or anything I promise." She laughed and he helped her up and steadied her. They walked slowly to the bridge  
The pair got there to find everyone back from the surface and ready to go. Optimus greeted them. "Glad to see you two are well."

"You gave us a scare little sis" Bumblebee told Nightshade. 

Nightshade froze. “Bee, your voice…"   
"  
Yeah," the minibot said, "I've heard that a lot over the last few cycles. It was the cyber matter. I'll explain more later it looks like we are almost in orbit."  
A few cycles later they arrived. "There it is, The Well of Allsparks. Release the Cyber matter." Optimus ordered. What Nightshade saw was amazing as slowly the planet began to glow with the blue gleam of cyber matter.

It worked. Nightshade was thrilled. It was going to become a reality. There would be stability again.  
They bridged back to headquarters to let the children leave and say goodbyes.

"What about renegade cons that might still be here" Agent fowler asked when they returned. "We will need to continue to be on the lookout for a while. The kids know about them. They can help as consultants."

"I will stay for a while. They may need a Cybertronian's assistance" Ratchet stated surprising them all. "I know where I am needed". "You'll be making some interplanetary trips Nightshade. Get used to that spacebridge."

Nightshade stepped through the space bridge. This was going to be interesting and just the beginning she thought.  
Nightshade stepped through the spacebridge for the first time and to say she was awestruck would have been a drastic understatement. The sun was beginning to break over the horizon and the sparkle of the planet's surface as well as the last of the stars left her absolutely speechless. Yet, this wasn't what surprised her the most. She felt a comfort she had not felt in what seemed like far more that the almost three years she had been Cybertronian. It was as if she was comforted by Cybertron itself. It was the unshakeable feeling of truly being where she belonged, a feeling of truly being home. It was as if despite what Ratchet told her everything that happened was indeed natural and she should be like this. She wanted to do nothing more at that moment than ride around and enjoy the sunrise. That feeling of awe was the same feeling she would feel each and every time she stepped through that space bridge.

She could not yet drive off and enjoy the scenery though. There was far too much to do. The day would start with ceremonies, followed by dividing up into rebuilding teams, research teams, and establishing security teams. After all there was still renegade Decepticons roaming around after the battle and they too would no doubt want to return.  
"Cons..." Nightshade thought to herself. Didn't Ratchet tell her Knockout was in the Brig on the Nemesis? She know he had to know what happened and she knew him well enough to think that he would use the opportunity to join the Autobots...maybe. He was an opportunist who liked to come out on to whatever the cost. Right after the ceremony she would head that way and find out.  
Nightshade's thoughts were once again interrupted by the Prime's voice calling all to attention to start Bumblebee's graduation.  
"Congratulations Bee, you deserve it big bro." Nightshade told Bumblebee after the ceremony and embraced him. She couldn't stick around for long though she had plenty to do. It was understood that she would be part of the research team and she acknowledged her assignment and started to drive off.

"...and I know exactly where I will be starting my research" Nightshade to the Prime. "I found something interesting a couple of years ago with the cons. I want to see if there may be any truth to it.”

“You told us nothing of this before. Prime said it was more of a statement than a question.

“It pertains to my own creation. It is likely nothing but I need to rule it out before i go on. It is for personal reasons. I am sure you understand what I mean" 

Optimus understood where she was going. "If it is what I believe it to be let me know what you find. I will retrieve the rest of it; If it is to be retrieved. Be careful who you tell."

"Optimus, " Nightshade answered. "I won't tell anyone. Like I said I don't want anyone thinking I am the all spark or anything as ridiculous as that. No rumors. The references to spark fragments and all spark fragments in the con literature made her curious besides it wasn't so much as what was still on the Nemesis but who was still there. It was the perfect excuse to go back.  
Nightshade bridged back to the war ship. She went directly to the data base and attempted to log in with her old code. "Ah of course they would have changed it. I wish I could have done this earlier." She said out loud to no one. She thought of her personal pads from her old quarters. They were right where she left them. 'CNA, DNA and New Life' It was the title she hoped would still be there. She lost herself in the material when she heard a voice

"Nightshade, a little help here would be great." She cautiously approached the brig. "Knock Out? Why should I?" she asked him. 

"Because", he answered, "I am on your side now. I mean Megatron is dead. Why should I stay on the loosing team. I should ask you what you are doing here. You simply couldn't stay away from me could you?" Knock Out said with his sadistic grin.

I forgot how conceited he really is, Nightshade thought. "Yeah, NO, I mean...I was doing research. I am a medic now you know, or I will be soon enough" What is wrong with my vocalizer? She thought. She thought she had prepared herself and had a stronger hold on her emotions.

"So I heard." Knock Out told her. "What do you think about our home? Beautiful isn't it? The thought of new life here again is wonderful, is it not? I can help you, you know. That is if you lend me a hand and break me out of here."

"Have you really switched sides? Prove it!" She demanded. 

"There isn't much I can do in here. Everyone is gone anyway." He thought a moment. "I know how to find the Decepticons who survived and fled. If I get you or Autobot security that information and help you capture them will you believe me?" Besides if Ratchet is still on earth and you're a medic in training they could use me"

"If they would believe you, Knock Out," Nightshade told him trying to keep the hurt out of her voice

"They believed you didn't they? He asked

"You had to bring that up again didn't you?" Nightshade asked anger rising up again. She managed to keep her voice pleasantly calm.

"Of course, Isn't that what this is really about, Nightshade. You deserted us, me and I didn’t follow?” he didn’t bother to try to hide his anger I would have caught you and I would have had to bring you back. Did you really want that? Lord Megatron was furious. Do you have any idea what he would have done to you? Or worse forced me to do to you? I had to make up lies for you it would have been easier to just tell him everything then. I didn’t. Believe me I paid the price for it. He had my finish."

Nightshade was speechless again. "You mean you…" 

“Yes, Nightshade!” He all but screamed at her. “I buffed for hours after that for you. If you had been there I would have taken you apart. I'm not going to now. Just get me out of here. Before I change my mind!” he calmed down and spoke in an even tone. “I'll help you find the information on the all spark you are looking for and I'll take the information to security."  
Nightshade was doubtful and against her better judgment she released Knock Out. He walked to the controls and showed her how to locate renegade Decepticons. Starscream was close by and moving toward them.

"Let's go" she said after they had what they needed. Knock Out opened the ground bridge and they were face to face with the seeker.  
Nightshade was expecting Starscream. She thought that was who Knock Out said was approaching their coordinates. She was not expecting to see Blackhawk standing in front of her and null ray at the ready. Knock Out stepped forward and brought out his saws. 

"Blackhawk stand down. It is over. It is just us and she freed me. I am not sure where everyone else is." And all my equipment is still on the warship. He thought.

"Are you joining them too Doctor?" the black and green seeker asked.

"It is logical. Why not join the winning team?"

"I won't! I can't forgive the Autobots for what they did to my sister!"

"Ok so don't join them, but drop the grudge it has only been 6 million years and Nightshade wasn't even created yet She isn't even a vorn yet. Nightshade did what she had to do for her family. Do what you have to do for yours. If you believe Phoenix is still alive and functioning now is the time to find her." Knock Out told him. "She isn't what you think either. If Phoenix is gone she is really gone. Nightshade can't bring her back. She isn't Primus you know.

Blackhawk lowered his weapons and slowly walked backwards. "You're right. Sorry about everything Nightshade." He transformed and flew off.  
Nightshade was completely confused. Knock Out mistook her confusion for worry about a Decepticon getting away. 

"He won't bother you or us. He knows the war is over. If he comes back and it is in aggression he will be easy to take down. He will already be defeated. Besides we can still track him if we need to for whatever reason." 

"That is not what I am worried about." Nightshade answered. "I think I am missing something. Who is Phoenix and why would I be able to help? What was all that about being Primus? Of course I am not Primus."

"I assumed he told you. I gathered you were close. His creators were supporters of the Decepticon cause from the beginning. They lived in a Decepticon city so it was natural. Phoenix was his twin. His split spark twin. I transferred their sparks to their first protoforms. When the final split between the factions took place she left. She had questions about her loyalties. It was assumed the Autobots terminated her or she joined them because she was never heard from again. They were close. You look very much like she did with the exception of your lack of full wings and she had energon blue where you have silver. Blackhawk knew about your creation and what the renegades were doing. That is why he took to you. When you deserted he took it personally. That is why he attacked you on the battle field and wanted to attack you again. He also has his suspicions about the Allspark fragment that aided in your creation."  
Nightshade had only what could be described as a look of dread. "I am not the Allspark nor do I carry it. Clearly I haven't become one with it. I am not a ghost. Does everyone know my secret now? I know Screamer does. He mentioned it to me before he shot me."

"No, not everyone knows the only ones who have a clue are the ones with a science background who were chasing our traitor who sold out to the humans in the first place. I know what you were reading. I told you I could help. You're proof of why I think our planet will be back to the way it once was. Life will come from it. There is still enough Allspark here to make it happen. The problem will be finding it. I think we may have found Screamer though."

Nightshade commed the security team and informed them as to where she was and what happened with Knock Out.

"You survived once traitor but not this time. Get her Doctor." Starscream screamed as he shot his null ray. Nightshade was ready this time and fired back. Knock out pushed her out of the way as the Autobots shot at Starscream from behind. 

"I am on the winning team now, Screamer. You are outnumbered. Just then the two ground bridges opened, one with the security team and one with a furious Ratchet.

"Nightshade!" Ratchet shouted when he realized she was unhurt and the rest of the Autobots and Knock Out had Starscream under control. "What in the name of Primus are you doing? Light duties do not include fighting Decepticons."

"Fighting ONE Decepticon" Knock Out corrected. "I have joined the winning team, besides Starscream is way outnumbered anyway. She didn't do any actual fighting."

"Knock Out, how did you get out here?" Ratchet asked still in shock

"Clearly, Doc bot, Nightshade freed me. I've been helping the last hour with her research before Starscream decided to join us. Besides if you are going to be between planets don't you think there should be at least one medic staying here full-time. At least until Nightshade gets her full credentials."  
Knock Out felt the need to prove himself again. Before you ask me to prove my loyalty, didn't I turn on Screamer. I have access to the data base on the Nemesis for the research team, and I can locate the rest of the Decepticons if and when they return. Assuming they haven't gotten the word that they lost"

"humph…fine" Ratchet said. Let's report to Optimus and fill him in. Nightshade are you sure you're going to be able to handle the rest of your studies as well as being on the research team?"

"I think so. It is all connected anyway. If I get overwhelmed I'll stop this for a while and focus purely on my classes."  
That was permissible and they transformed and drove off. "You're right about one thing Knockout" Nightsahde told him as they were riding. Our planet is beautiful. I am willing to bet things will be successful."

"In the new life area you mean? As am I. Do either of you want to try an experiment later?" He asked with an evil grin that would have been evident were he not in his alt mode.

"KNOCK OUT!" screamed both Ratchet and Nightshade.


	9. Cybertron's Eve

Chapter 9: Cybertron's Eve

"What?!" Knock Out asked as they approached their coordinates of the meeting place. His smirk became clears as he transformed. "There will be lots of experiments taking place in the next few cycles and contrary to what you may have heard I do not believe that all new scientific knowledge must come about through pain! So, are either one of you up for it?" He asked laughing but looking at Nightshade. Rachet said nothing but looked as if he wanted to purge. "I am kidding of course Doc, besides the first question must be how long will Cybertron be able to sustain us? Not can life even be birthed here."  
Some of the Autobots were still at the meeting site. New refugees were already returning home and were meeting there. Optimus was briefing them about the outcome and had not yet left. He and many of them were on edge as Knock Out approached. The construction teams discussed shelter issues and once Nightshade got that part out of the way she left with Knock Out to join the rest of the research team.

"He joined us and to prove it he has already provided us with access codes to the Nemesis as well as intel on potential returning cons. He will assure them of the outcome. He has also agreed to work with the research team and stay here full time to serve as medic while I am between planets and working with Nightshade." Ratchet informed him.

Optimus was going off world and would use to Matrix to locate the actual All Spark as he was sure it was no longer on Cybertron.

"I imagine a good place to start is at the Well itself." Knock Out stated and he transformed. Nightshade followed.

"I am surprised that you two acted the way that you did with my suggestion. You know what I meant. It would truly an experiment at least with him involved.” He shook his helm and continued. “If your spark was directly created from the all spark it wouldn't be unlike what Nova was attempting years ago, but in an ethical way with your permission. If we could generate enough of a pulse through your spark yours would divide much like the All Spark itself and form a new spark. You'd be a carrier for a while instead of Cybertron and we'd transfer it at the right time. You would in essence be the hot spot of the planet. And yes I would see to it that we... you enjoyed it." Knock Out said.

Nightshade couldn't believe her audios. "And if it didn't kill me in the process? Besides Knockout I am by no means what one would a prude but that was a bit direct. A little tact next time would be great especially around Ratchet."

"I am sure he considered it. He's a doctor, You will be soon come on. It is survival Nightshade. I'm actually not trying to be obnoxious."  
Nightshade pulled air through her vents in almost a sigh. "I understand that but I really don't want to be Cybertron's Eve. Besides what will the planet do when I eventually offline? We still become extinct."

"Hopefully by then the Allspark would be discovered or enough of what is left of it to continue like before this happened."

"There just might be another way. Assuming the hot spots still exist. But just an idea but you're right our purpose here is to look.  
They were half way to the well when Knock Out stopped suddenly. A small group of bots had gathered around an area several kilometers from the well. "Energy surges are high here. This is a potential hot spot. We will set up lab here and move between here and the Well.

Nightshade spent days here rarely going back to check on her shelter or even get rest. She deemed it an unnecessary waste of time. She saw few of the bots she wasn't working with and paid little attention to small warnings on her HUD. She tried to keep it from the others but those who knew her well, Knock Out and Ratchet saw something was up. She continued to ignore that too insisting that there would be time for that later. There was too much to do. She had not come this far to die and see her home die again too. She considered the creation story of earth and was understandably troubled by the thought that life on Cybertron might rest on her shoulders. She kept reminding herself that she was not Primus nor was she the all spark but it didn't help. Great, she thought this is just what I need. If she were to actually be honest with herself she did want to be with Knock Out but finding a power line seemed easier. She laughed at the thought.  
But they were right she needed a small break and as the sun was beginning to set she decided to go for a drive and try to relax and enjoy what she was working so hard to achieve. She really wanted to go sight-seeing after all. When she got back she would contact Ratchet to see about the warning flags on her HUD. Asking Knock Out seemed awkward when she thought about their first meeting. Her mind wandered. Yes, she thought as everything around her sparkled. This is a pretty place.

(events of chapter 1 here)


	10. First Date?

"Nightshade! Nightshade, get up. Sweetspark, you have got to see this!" The red mech said running into her room. Nightshade slowly stirred out of a deep recharge. She pretended to not hear him for as long as she could stand it.

Reluctantly she set up. "Knock Out what are you doing here? What is so important that you insist I online at this exact moment get up I was planning on recharging until at least..."  
He reached out for her hand. "Come with me. I promise it is worth on lineing early for." She took his hand and allowed him to help her off her berth. They walked outside. "It has been years since the sunrise looked like this. Not since before the war." Knock Out told her.  
The sky was a bright golden hue and the metallic surface reflected it back; it was a brilliant shade of burnt orange. "Wow" Nightshade whispered. She only thought Cybertron was beautiful the first time she stepped through the spacebridge. This was different.

"It will temporarily stop your intake valves wont it?" Knock Out asked.

"Yeah, It is absolutely…"she laughed in way that mimicked a purr, "breathtaking. That is the word you are looking for."  
He smiled and nodded. "This isn't as glorious as it can and now I believe will be. Besides being beautiful it is a wonderful sign."   
Nightshade looked confused.

"You see, "Knockout continued noticing her expression, "it is evidence of hot spots reforming around the planet. There are byproducts of chemical reactions between living things and the atmosphere much like on Earth. The life gives the planet its golden color. You didn't come during the war but you see what was gray and purple the colors of death here. As life is birthed here the hues will be brighter more golden. You don't think the prewar times were called the golden age because everyone had it perfect do you? Few lived a golden high life." Decepticon mantras began to come back to him. He shook his head" Those in…well never mind I don't want to think about that now. As I was saying, it will get better."

Nightshade laughed to herself. As much as Knock Out likes beautiful things he refuses to enjoy them for what they are. He has made it a point to get the science behind the sunrise, metaphorically dissect that too. She rolled her optics. He noticed. "What?" he asked. "Nothing really, you, and the way you think.” She laughed again. “Yeah it's amazing." 

When the sun was completely over the horizon Knock Out turned to go inside Nightshade's house. "You need to get a nice oil bath and get ready for the day. I have so much planned for us."

"A full schedule?" Nightshade asked. "But I am supposed to be resting I have an appointment with Ratchet this afternoon."

"But you have been resting the last couple of days. You can only recharge so much. Besides I know what your resting consists of. I saw the padd by your berth while you were recharging. You are beginning to understand but I want you to see the real things you were writing about. What life as an alien in a relatively peaceful environment truly is" He gave her an evil grin. "Arcee showed me the part about your understanding of mates.” He touched her faceplates. “Don’t hate her. She was trying to help you out. Besides we are not going to be doing any work and we are not going to over stimulate your processor and we will be on time for the appointment. I still don't know why you didn't just come to me if you were going to ignore your own well being."  
Because first that would be awkward and second clearly it was all in my processor and I needed an old mentor to get me through it." Nightshade huffed.

"Whatever, just go get more beautiful, mien schatz, and I will be waiting here." Knock Out told her.

Nightshade came back a couple of breems later and Knock Out was anxious to hit the road. "Of course we were not the only ones working our afts off the last several weeks. The construction teams have been at it too. Without asking anyone else's opinion on it they decided to start reconstruction of the city state of Iacon. I guess it makes sense being the data head. It is not like they would start with Kaon or any of the Decepticon city states. Anyway It is ¾ of the way built back . I want you to see the restored capitol and give you a truly Cybertronian treat in the process. It will be meal time by the time we arrive."  
Nightshade was finally allowed to opportunity to go sightseeing and doing so with Knock Out was relaxing. As they drove along he pointed out old ruins, and battle grounds from the early part of the war for Cybertron. At last they crossed over the bridge outside of the city that was the first to be rebuilt and pulled into the city limits of the new capitol city. It had most of its old luster.  
They entered a diner that had been reopened for a day. It almost reminded Nightshade of the fifties diners she had eaten at as a human. It had small things fortunately one of which was what Knock Out was hoping for, an oil cake. They were easy enough to make with the most basic ingredients. "Two oil cakes with energon toping please" Knock Out ordered. He sat down beside Nightshade. "This used to be popular. I imagine if returning refugees come back this will be one of the first places. Here factions didn't matter. Decepticon, Autobot, even neutrals took a break from politics and the idea of war for an oil cake or cup of oil." They brought it to them. It was sweet smelling and reminded Nightshade of those little Debbie chocolate cupcakes with the white squiggly lines but was textured more like the chocolate lava cakes. It was more of a savory rather than sweet dessert. "Delicious" Nightshade said.

There was a noise outside. "I was right, returning refugees coming here to get updates I'm sure." That time a couple of Autobot twins came in. "Hey who is the femme? I haven't seen you around?" The red one said as he approached her.

"Designation is Nightshade" she answered.

"Sideswipe." He answered. "So you're the one the rumors are about?"  
"Rumors are all they are. Leave my spark mate alone" Knock Out stepped in saws out. 

At the sound the yellow twin was beside his brother. "Your sparkmate, 'con?" he said noticing the outline of Nightshade's purple Autobot insignia.

"Former 'con" Nightshade said. "and yes he is MY sparkmate, or haven't you heard that rumor which isn't a rumor. He is one of us. He has been for a while and helpful too. I was a con once too so back off." 

Before any blows could be exchanged a black and white security guard stepped up. Knock it off mechs. Remember the spirit of this place, besides the war is over. I know you are tired and would hate to ask you to leave. May I offer you a cube of energon or cup of oil?"

"Sorry, No we are fine. Good to make your acquaintance Nightshade. My apologies Knock Out."

"Good day gentlemechs. We need to leave Nightshade we only have a joor before we have to be back and there is still a whole lot to see. "  
They paid and left. Knock Out showed Nightshade the restored archive building and the spires of the capitol. They walked around battle grounds and paid a quick homage to fallen from both sides. They decided they would cross over and have a quick look at what was left of Tarn. Knock Out still wanted them to hurry and rebuild at least one of those. The roads between them were worse than he thought though so the visit was short. They took their time on the way back. Nightshade had a lot to think about and although it was relaxing she used her processor more than she expected. The part that really made her think was Knock Outs words in the diner. Did he really confess to actually being sparkmates? Was it really that obvious? Did she really confirm it? It surely wasn't just a defensive move from her perspective. That became the conversation for the drive back.

"Knock Out did you mean what you said in the diner?" Nightshade asked. She couldn't wait any longer.

"What part?” You mean the part about being Sparkmates? I am sorry if I overstepped my boundaries but, like I told you I read your notes. I thought I would make it easier for you… Knock Out said.

"And I agreed and I meant what I said." Nightshade told him almost singing. "I guess it is time we admitted it. Glad I don't have to ask, or have to plan a 'date' Thanks Knock Out." They pulled back into her house and transformed. "I guess I need a spacebridge maybe more activities after work tomorrow, if Ratchet clears me for work."

"Yes, and he will. You are fine" Knock Out told her actually taking note of his passive scanners. "You might want another cube of energon before you go though." He laughed. "I’ll get out of here before old timer follows through on his threat of welding me down for disturbing you today. Good night"  
He opened the bridge for her and she stepped through with the energon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in the notes Nightshade was writing she mentioned that Knockout told her femmes initiated bonds. She was nervous and unsure about taking the lead as she was still trying to adjust to their way.


	11. Final Fight

Many things happened in the weeks following Nightshade's return to duties, and continued to happen at an alarming rate. Nightshade's relationship with Knock Out was progressing more quickly than she could imagine. Refugees began to return to Cybertron from both sides of the former conflict. Knock Out kept his word to act as a liaison between the former factions and alerting the bots of new incomings, potential problems, as well as giving them codes to track the different deception signals if the individuals had not deactivated them. He also stayed with the science team that was one step closer to seeing new life birthed on the planet.

The restoration of Iacon was complete and the construction teams moved to rebuild Praxius. The work progressed more quickly due to the refugees wanting to rebuild their home city states but it caused some tension as to the order in which construction would take place. It was a test to the new government structure. Optimus proved to be capable and got the majority to agree on a set order without having to simply demand it. Oppression was still heavy on the Cybertronian's minds

It all came together to make Nightshade nervous. She was by no means near the point of glitching anymore. She was determined to listen to her mentor and friend and take it easy. Her studies were almost over and graduation was coming up. She tried to keep her mind on that and allowing herself outings and races. She made a conscious decision to focus on positive things. Peace, the end of threat of war and oppression, choosing what she wanted, but the thing that scared her more than anything else was knowing that Starscream was out there still. She had no doubt he had not changed and believed he would try to reestablish the Decepticons and rule in his place. There was an unstable Blackhawk to worry about. He would no doubt still support Screamer and she was unsure of the change of spark of the refugees. The rumors the refugees had heard about Nightshade and the ideas she thought they had about her concerned her. It was a crazy notion that she was or carried the all spark but crazy ideas were often the ones that stuck around the longest. There was the fact that she and her spark mate were both former Decepticons and those who had not worked with them or knew much of her had their fears. She feared they would turn on her. Those, in short, were the feelings of dread Nightshade told Ratchet and eventually Knock Out about.  
Fortunately most of the returning Cybertronians were more interested in their old homes or how the new leadership was going to be set up and spent more time in Iacon or trying to arrange an audience with Prime to get to the Well where Nightshade was working. Not to mention they too were war weary and were not looking to start anything again.  
Nightshade shared her concerns about Starscream and returning Autobots who were skeptical about their own change of spark with Knock Out on the way back to work. "Ratchet is right about one thing. You worry too much. You are perfectly able to defend yourself if the need arises" He laughed. "You were a Decepticon for almost 2 solar cycles and it is still in you. I saw it in your optics at the diner. You would have enjoyed blasting those annoying twins. Decepticon grounders always threw them off a bit. A bit of a skirmish might help you. You need to keep your reflexes sharp. You know with potential sparklings"   
Nightshade looked at him and just shook her head. She hated to admit it but it might be fun. If Screamer did show up and was unwilling to accept the fact that Cybertronians could all live together without a tyrant then she wanted to rip out his spark herself.

"You're right. There is still a lot to do. There is something we haven't tried yet" She told Knock Out as they transformed at the well. "We never tried the experiment you proposed a mega cycle ago? It would rule out some things and really give some particular individuals something to talk about" She said without hesitation.  
Knock Out looked at Nightshade in disbelief. "Ok, if you are sure and it is not just for science, and of course not here." They were about to get back to logging data when something caught their attention above them. "Seekers," and what is left of the drones" Nightshade spit, "and they don't look like they want to help us."

Starscream's voice was unmistakable above the noise of confusion even if Knock Out had not given her the warning. "I'll take the traitor. Leave me the femme to, make sure she is undamaged. She is my tool to ruling Cybertron."

That was what Nightshade had feared and what she waited for. She was not going to die and she surely wasn't going to help him. She knew why he wanted her unhurt. Will that insane belief ever go away. She believed that is why the new seekers joined Starscream. She was sure they believed the rumor or that he had convinced them the Decepticon cause was not over. If that was the case they would attack more than just the scientists. She couldn't think about that now so she didn’t even try to do so.

"Think again Screamer!" She gave him everything she had. "It is over and it will be over for you, coward. Accept it. You could have had power if you weren't bent on taking it" Nightshade screamed over the cannon fire.

Knock Out transformed and drove off to draw their fire. The others who were caught off guard threw what they had at them and began firing. He took a slight hit to the bumper and transformed. "My finish! You ruined my finish. You will pay for that. Land cowards! Land! You'll be in pieces." He said eyes glowing in fury.  
Comm messages were overlapping. Several were down but reinforcements were arriving. Nightshade was right there was an attack on a lesser scale at the capitol. They wanted her. She was going nowhere and the research was not going to be ruined.

Nightshade felt a sting and knew she had been hit. She looked up. Starscream landed and was coming toward her. She accessed her damage. Her HUD read little damage. She pushed the others out of her way. This was her battle. He came close null ray at point blank range. "I won't miss this time Femme. Come with me." Starscream ordered. Your beloved is down." Starscream told her.  
Then off line me because I refuse to help you." Nightshade vented. She noticed his hesitation and used it to her advantage. She blasted him in the chest, dangerously close to his spark. "What?" she said as he gasped. "Didn't think I had it in me to take a spark? I was a Decepticon once remember. I didn't survive that warship by being soft. Besides I haven't taken any oaths yet. Finally no one messes up Doc's finish and gets away with it. You know that personally!" She blasted him again and Starscream was one with the all spark.

She looked around her and accessed the damage. Mechs were hurt. Knock Out among them. She went to him. "Let me see" she told him. No. I'm already a full medic remember. I can take care of myself. It is mostly cosmetic anyway" Knock Out told her as he flinched. You go see about the others and I will follow you when I fix myself."  
Nightshade reluctantly left and went over to the wounded. Energon was everywhere. This was skirmish was seemingly worse than the last battle with Megatron. She quickly triaged the survivors and started what she could with what she had. Ratchet told her in the beginning that her experience would be field work. This was more than she had ever seen. Sure she made a few repairs but nothing like surgery on the field. She kept them alive and Knock Out was able to help her with those that would live.

Several cycles passed and they got word that at least the damage at Iacon was minimal and only a few casualties, on the side of the aggressors. "I wish we could say the same" she told Ratchet on his comm link.

"You did well kid." Knock Out told her later that evening when they were able to leave. We'll be sure to tell your professor when he finishes at Iacon. "yeah. Thanks. I think I will opt out on any more experiments this evening. If you don't mind. The wash racks and a long power down is all I want now. I hope it is really over."  
I understand. I have a date with the buffer tonight anyway. I am no seer but I think this time the war really is over. Good Night."

"Good Night," she answered. Somehow she believed in her spark he was right.


	12. Father and Daughter

Chapter 12 Father and Daughter

Nightshade on lined following the battle with a start. She checked her surroundings and discovered she was indeed alone, like she should be. Something felt wrong, however so she ran a diagnostic, and all systems checked out normal. If she were human still she would be convinced that she had a nightmare, but since Cybertronians didn't dream that was of course impossible. She then noticed her chronometer. She was late. Why didn't she wake up on time. "Oh Scrap" she said out loud. "Ratchet is going to be furious." She was late for rounds. "Yesterday must have taken more out of me than I thought."  
She thought she better let him know she was coming. "Ratchet, I am on my way now," He didn't answer so she transformed and ignored all speed regulations on her way to the small makeshift hospital.

"Nightshade", Ratchet acknowledged his apprentice but said nothing else.

"I know, I am sorry. It won’t happen again. Everything seems to be ok but for some reason I couldn't get out of recharge on time I am not slacking this close to the end again Ratchet I am sorry. Check it yourself if you need to. I am..."

"Nightshade!" Ratchet interrupted her rambles, "You have patients waiting!" He said as he watched her go inside.

Nightshade saw Knock Out at the front making notes he acknowledged her presence with a nod but said nothing. It seemed odd for him not so say anything. He is just busy she told herself. First things first. Don't focus on him or Ratchet, or what just happened or what may happen. You are too close to graduation to mess up now. She headed for the makeshift ICU.  
The Red Lamborghini was first. His right leg took a hit at close range when he jumped a flyer. He lost a lot of energon but after the transfusion last night he seemed better. "'Mornin' con or is it Primus" he said jokingly. 

“Morning, she answered clearly not amused. "Neither just your medic.” she said. "How are you feeling?" 

"It doesn't hurt to move it anymore" he told her.

Nightshade had been warned he didn't admit to being hurt that he pulled crazy stunts all the time even if there was no battle. She checked the where the connections had been sauntered and they seemed to be healing. "You'll be out of here by the end of the day most likely. Don't do anything crazy for a while though. Remember, she joked, you weren't built to fly": she warned him and left to check on the next victim.  
Primus, Why she thought as she realized who was on the next berth. Why him? Why had Blackhawk come back to fight. He was a ghost that would haunt her forever it seemed. She was committed to healing though so she approached. She was surprised he was still alive. He had been close to Starscream when he joined the all spark and his wing paid the price. Most of it was missing and his left shoulder was torn open. Knock Out must have made the battle field repairs after he tended to himself she thought. She wasn't sure she would have.

"Nightshade?" he vented. 

"Don't look so happy to see me" she told him bluntly. "I am here because I am committed to being a healer and true to my word, unlike some bots." she told him. "How is the pain?" she asked making sure his relays were still off. 

"My receptors or off, fortunately." he replied. " I can’t feel a thing in the wing or arm" A scan showed he was stable but would need another transfusion of energon before the rebuilt wing could be attached. She probed the arm to make sure there was no bleeder that could have caused the drop from overnight. She didn't see anything with her optics and the scan appeared clear. He would just have to be monitored closely. She made a note of it and moved on before she let her emotions get to her.

The next few patients were fellow scientists she had been working with for a long time. She quickly finished her rounds and made not of the ones she believed to be ready to leave ICU in the next 24 hours. She was thankful for them. They took hits that she thought were meant for her. She left to check on the ones that were on their way out who had come in from the capitol; she overheard their designations, Brawn and Jazz. They were talking with Ratchet. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts she almost ran into someone she was hardly expecting. Optimus stood in front of her, and she almost ran into him.

"Prime," She said. I am sorry I didn't see you there. May I help you?"

"I am just Checking on my soldiers." He answered.

Ratchet finished what he was doing and answered. "They are making a full recovery but some will be slower than others."

Optimus nodded. "They are in good hands, old friend. More than one set of good hands" He added looking at Nightshade.

If Nightshade could have blushed she would have. "Thanks" was all she said. "Good to see you again. I will be seeing more of you soon. He told her. "Likewise sir" Nightshade answered. "Excuse me while I finish charting."

"I want to speak with you when you get finished" Ratchet told her. For some reason she became extremely nervous at the thought.  
She finished her notes. "Aren't you forgetting someone?" Ratchet asked. She looked over at Knock Out.

"I am fine" he told them. "I did my own repairs. I am a medic too, remember?"

"Affirmative, however it is a little extra practice. She takes her final in a couple of days."

"Hummm, alright then if you must." He turned.   
"Where exactly did you take the hit again? She asked while scanning him. He pointed it out. "She laughed. "Internals are fine. Knock Out, how long was that date with the buffer? All night?" She teased. "I don't get that much time with you, you vain mech!"

"No" he answered little too defensively. I told you I am just that good! Now, it seems we both still have stuff to do. I will see you in the lab this evening after you do rounds here. There are those developments we need to go over that we were working on yesterday morning before the attack. I promise I will make it up to you. Trying to keep it professional. Good luck today with your… professor and upcoming final." Nightshade shook her helm and followed her mentor out of the hospital.

"Need to refuel, Nightshade? Let's grab some energon in town. There are some things on my processor lately that I need to tell you. I only hope I haven't waited too long." They transformed and rolled to a small fueling station with some seating.

"Really, Ratchet, I am sorry about this morning. I don't know what happened."

"Ep Ep. Like I said it is ok. You're systems checked out ok. It was probably the safe guards, battle protocols, engaging to protect your processor from crashing after the trauma being sluggish to restart. You saw everyone you needed to see. This isn't about that. I didn't notice anything that you missed this morning, well done. The only thing I saw was your reaction to one patient. You have to keep you emotions in check, Nightshade. There will be those that you don't like but in crisis you have to focus. It isn't about you."

"Blackhawk" she said. "I know. I wanted to kill him while he was lying there or at least turn all his pain receptors back on and tell him to take it like a Decepticon. But I didn't. Was it really that obvious?"

"Yes, to everyone there." He answered.

"I just wish he would leave me alone. I'm not who he thinks I am, nor am I who he desperately wants me to be. There are very few bots who just accept that." You and Knock Out are it, she thought. "I never asked for any of this"

"Perhaps, but remember recovery room is not the place to hash out your own emotions. You are usually so stoic." Ratchet reminded her. "You also did well yesterday in the field work." He continued. "I told you when we started that would be where most of your experience would come from. The team has made great progress on the planets reproductive capabilities. That is worth celebrating, However" Ratchet paused and Nightshade guessed where this was going. Reproductive capabilities, she thought and vented. Just what she needed to talk about now. She didn't think the day would ever end, but when it did she would definitely go there. She chuckled to herself being Cybertronian certainly put the rebellious streak in her.

"I am…worried about you, Nightshade, and it has nothing to do with you as a physician. You will be an excellent surgeon. I said it when I met you I have been around over 11 million earth years and I think I understand the Cybertronian psyche but I will never understand the femmes desire to chase and flirt with danger or dangerous mechs. When I saw you the other day I threatened to weld your sparkmate to the berth if he bothered you, I was truly hoping he wasn't really your sparkmate. I know better now. I can’t say I am thrilled."

"You don't believe he has changed do you? Despite all he has done for us? Despite the fact he actually damaged his finish to keep mine from getting pinged." She thought about that for a minute and to be honest couldn't believe that herself maybe she jumped behind him. She couldn't remember it happened so fast, but she continued "He is different. He was never exactly what he appeared to be."

"Nightshade, He was a Decepticon through and through. He admitted that he enjoyed breaking things and had a history of breaking things when he gets finished playing with them. I don't want to see your spark in pieces followed by-," Ratchet paused and thought.”-followed by your body in pieces."

"If he was playing me do you really think he would go that far after all this?"

"He killed mechs for spare parts during battle! The Decepticon scientists were behind what happened to you. Yet you defend it."

"And even the Autobot scientists and medics did questionable desperate things at the beginning of the war, Ratchet. I refuse to live in the past. You two are the only mechs who see me for who I am and not as some incarnation of Primus or the All spark. I can't live in fear. You said that yourself. HE didn't dissect me when he had the chance. He won’t now. You can't be soft during war. You have to put up a front and when you're sided with a crazy warlord you have to do crazy things to survive. Not that I am justifying anything that was done. If we, he, gets the urge to take something apart I will find something that isn't still living. Oh and Ratchet before you ask, No we haven't actually bonded yet." She wasn't sure why she felt she needed to tell him that but while she was telling him everything else it seemed right.

"I wish you wouldn't but you are not a sparkling and you are going to make your own decisions.. When you do though, promise me something. Please don't do it as a science experiment. Make it mean something."

"Ratchet, You sound just exactly like my father." 

Ratchet smiled, "Well as my charge and student I see you as my personal responsibility and you've become like a sparkling to me. Come on there is still one thing you need to do before the final exam tomorrow"

They transformed and rolled back to the hospital. One bot is due for a Maintenance check up. You're going to do it." They walked in and to her shock Optimus was waiting.


	13. Finishes and Firsts

Finishes and Firsts

Nightshade pulled herself out of recharge. Brilliant golden light flowed into her window. It had been a fast and stressful orbital cycle but it was almost over. She discharged her patients from the attack, did all the maintenance checks that were due during that time, spent hours at the well and in the lab, studied for her final and passed, and still managed to find a few hours to be social and race the other slightly rebellious younger Cybertronians who chose sporty fast alt mode. Today was the day. she would no longer be apprentice or Junior Medic. She earned her crosses and she had about decided she would actually wear them.

"Good Morning, Sweet Spark, are you up? You have been in recharge longer than you intended several times lately, and I didn't want you to miss your moment. Need a hand with your buffer?" Knock Out commed.

"Thanks for the wakeup call. Yes, I am awake. I have no intention of being late again. Especially for this. No, I think I can manage with the buffer but if you want to come you are more than welcome. See you soon either way." she answered. She lost herself in thought. The important people would be there but for the first time since that day on the Nemesis she was homesick for Earth. She imagined her human graduation and her human friends, professors, and dad beside her. She shook it off. They may not be human but friends, professors and father figure would be there. She pushed herself out of the wash rack and grabbed the wax. This was a celebratory time she reminded herself. She needed to get busy.

Nightshade stepped out to discover Knock Out waiting. "Couldn't wait a few more breems for me to arrive?" she teased him.

"Hardly" he answered his annoyance over emphasized. "I needed to get away from your 'sire'. He still doesn't like me. He was getting on my last nanocircuit. My processor was starting to ache and I didn't want to go back to the lab. He calls me obnoxious. Then there are all the rest of the Autobots. To be so accepting and welcoming to humans you would think they would treat their own better. The war is over besides how hard is it to get through their helms even if it wasn't i am on their side?" he watched her for a moment. "You missed a spot." He went to get it for her.

"Thanks. They will get over it. You have to admit you have a reputation following you, Knock Out. It would help if you didn't insist on keeping con in your title too. Boticon? The factions are gone. At least in theory." They transformed and drove to the meeting hall in Praxus in silence, lost in thought.

They arrived together and Nightshade was suddenly nervous and a bit surprised by the number of bot who showed up in support. She noticed what seemed like all her patients that were able, all of team prime, and most of the research team she had been working with was there. Ratchet shared her background just in case there were those who didn't know and mainly to clear up all the rumors going around. It wouldn't have been good for her to start off with lack of trust for reasons that were completely unfounded. He told of her accomplishments and presented her with her crosses. She felt energon rush to her face but was glad once again at the inability to blush or she would have been bright blue. Ratchet agreed to let her do something she imagined herself doing for years. Most medical schools in the states still use the Oath and she modified it for her purposes.

"I do solemnly swear, with Primus as my witness and before you all, to fulfill this oath to the best of my power and judgment" She looked at Ratchet, smiled and continued. "I will regard my teacher as equal to my creator and teach others who are willing and eager to learn my art. I hold all life sacred and will fight to preserve all sparks regardless of age, or affiliation. I will use my knowledge and skills for the benefit of the damaged and promise to do no harm in treatment. I will ask questions and defer to others who are more experienced or have more knowledge if a situation arises in which i lack the necessary skills or experience. I will never deliberately do anything that will damage others or suggest that anyone else do so. In this way i will keep my teachings and my spark pure. I will not abuse my powers and will keep in confidence what i am told during treatment. In fulfilling the oath may i enjoy the benefits of function and good standing among my fellow Cybertronians. If I fail to do so may the opposite be true."

She stepped down to applause and was looking for the best escape when Knock Out came up and put his arm around her. "Congratulations doctor, come on follow me. Ratchet isn’t finished with you yet today. There is a party we must attend."

"Party, but?" before she had time to protest she saw the tables with energon snacks and energon of all grades lined up, and lots of loud music. Many bots were already partaking. 

"More of the Cybertronian experience for you and to help you relax a bit. Let's dance" She did for several breems before she was clearly ready to leave.

"Let's go back to the lab. I want to show you something there but let's go the long way around. They are finally rebuilding Kaon, my old stomping grounds. I hope they modify the old gladiator rings into something to be used for real sports. He sighed noticing the demolishing of Dark Mount. It was strange being back for the first time since the start of the war.

"You grew up here?" Nightshade asked him.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. I met the only bot that I would ever consider a mentor as well as, as well as others. Despite all of that it was definitely not the best of times though. I was glad i am good with my hands. It gave me a chance to get a step above my creators. Being a medic I moved around among the castes." His optics wandered. "Ok that is enough of that. I really just wanted to check on the progress. Now to the lab and what i really want you to see."  
The roads surrounding the Well were slick with remaining acid puddles and they noticed a charge in the atmosphere. "Seems there was an electrical storm her this morning. This could be better than I anticipated. "Knock Out said out loud." Watch to acid." he warned Nightshade as she almost drove through one small puddle. "Few things damage a finish more and that amount could get into your circuitry. It is painful regardless."

"What did you mean when about the storm being good, again" Nightshade said as she barely missed being sprayed. She had an idea where he was going with that train of though.

"Over the last couple of weeks the energy produced from the electrical storms around the well caused the creation of new sparks" Knock Out told her confirming her suspicions. "However, they were extinguished shortly after the storm ended due to lack of sustained energy that is needed during that first orbital cycle."

"So," Nightshade said continuing his reasoning, "Creation is possible now and mature sparks can be sustained. We now know the missing link and exactly what to work on which is this 'gestational' problem."

"There are no completely functioning hot spots yet but the changes in patterns indicate they are forming..." Knock out was cut off by a pulsating blue orb lying next to a puddle by the edge of the well.

"Another new spark?!" Nightshade asked picking it up.

"Yes, from this morning's storm no doubt." he paused counting, “that was a joor ago at least. They haven't lasted this long before!"He began to scan the soil and Nightshade scanned the spark.

"It won't last much longer though" Nightshade concluded with a hint of sadness. She put it back and it pulsated strongly for a few nanoclicks before extinguishing. "No" Nightshade said almost sobbing. "It is offline."

"Nightshade. You need a protoform, a body, to be online. It was simply a new spark not viable due to the conditions. Like I told you there have been several created over the past weeks. This one lasting this long is still extremely promising." Nightshade remained silent. "Sweet Spark, you have seen plenty of actual death and not been this affected. What is going on?" he asked her once again putting his arm around her. "You're not fighting anymore but remember it does you no good as a physician or scientist to let yourself go soft. Stay objective doctor."

"It has been a long emotional day. I guess I’m just a little tired." she told him. He confirmed that and told her "Come on I know how to take your mind off this for a while and think about other things. Let's go to your place.

"Let's race home" Nightshade told Knock Out. She wanted to just feel the wind rush over her in a way that could only happen with speed and she doubted he would turn down the opportunity. She revved her engine and took off before Knock Out could answer or even transform.  
"And you say I cheat" he screamed as he transformed and followed her and for the first time in 3 years Nightshade won. Albeit she barely won but that was one victory she enjoyed.

"I won and don't tell me it was only because you let me win. You wouldn't let your own sparkling beat you" Nightshade said.

"Speaking of sparklings, Knock Out said "What would you say to a little more research before power down?"  
Nightshade wanted to scream yes but she was hesitant. She didn't really know why. Knock Out saw the hesitation in her optics. "We don't have to, you know."

"No, I mean Yes I want to but…"

"Nervous sweet spark? It will be fine. I have some high grade left if you want a little to take the edge off your nerves. Not much though I don't want you to numb yourself to the experience, or we can just wait. It doesn't have to be now. The planets hot spots are really looking promising…"

Nightshade cut him off "Anything for science and maybe a cube of high grade between us."

"I hope it is more than just for science." Knock Out told her as he got the small amount of the good stuff as humans would have called it and brought it to her. They barely sipped the energon and after a few moments she followed him into the berth. Her spark quickened and a twinge of doubt hit her processor as she thought of Ratchet's warning. No she told herself. He is being real. He was being careful not to pressure her. She shook off her doubts and looked him in the optics.

"I will take it easy, Nightshade, I think I am familiar enough with your systems to not allow you to crash, at least not the first time." He told her remembering the first meeting on the Nemesis and sensing her fears. "besides I know the signs of emanate crash. I will stop before then, I promise"

She refused to be afraid. This was what she wanted even when Knock Out joked about it. He reached up and rubbed the seams of her door wings dipping his hands into them and gently pulling the wires while sending warm pulses through his fingers. He gently pushed her back and pulled himself into position over her. He made circles around her headlights and traced her insigna. “Open up for me sweet spark, unless you are still shy.” He teased. 

“I was never shy.” She slowly unhinged her armor surrounding her spark chamber and intimate circuitry completely unable to take her optics off of his. 

He reached for his power filter and made the connection. "We should keep it one way for now, overload and crash, remember?" he told her as she reached for hers happy that she was indeed so eager.

"The energy required…" she started to say but was cut off by Knock Out "…will be enough. Don't think about it as an experiment, remember. There is time for that. Just go with it."  
Knock Out confirmed the connection initiated the first file transfer. Feelings and images swept through Nightshade. Most she was familiar with. Things they shared before. Then Knock Out initiated energy download. It was completely foreign yet comfortable. She immediately realized it was his pure spark energy. Truly Knock out. He spark raced, as the intensity grew. She moaned. He opened up his power core and gave her what she wanted. Yet, She wanted more. She grabbed her own power filter. He smiled, "Are you completely sure, Nightshade"

"If we crash, we crash. We will online eventually and if we don't I will join the All Spark as one happy femme" she told him.

"Okay" he said laughing as she connected her power filter to his port. Nightshade vented hard as waves of energy hit her spark. She adjusted hers to match his and the warmth flowed through her. Her pleasure growing exponentially as she sent it back to Knock Out. He sighed and sent it back. The power output growing each time a cycle was complete. "I want more. Let's merge sparks!"  
Night shade agreed. Knock out laughed softly as his transformed back his armor and the glow of his pulsating spark illuminated Nightshade's face. She did and they could feel the pull on the sparks and saw the energy transfer like small flashes of lightning. It wasn’t blue as she expected but a bright golden shade shining like the planet itself. She reached up and touched the small golden orb that was his spark’s node and he only moaned with pleasure. “You didn’t think I knew about that?”

“I hoped you would, Doc!” Tendrils of energy flashed between their sparks as they pulled toward their mate. Knockout aligned his spark with hers and pushed their chassis together and soon the awareness of being two individuals melted away and each was aware of the other. Their consciousness blended together becoming a new separate entity that consisted of the best of both of them. Their sparks then fused sealing the bond. They were one spark. Feelings memories and dreams flooded each other's processors. Nightshade was aware she wouldn’t be able to physically hold the bond any longer despite being sure that Knockout could. “Don’t apologize” he told her through the bond. “Go with it.” He sped up his systems to keep up with her. 

“Knockout! She cried as they overloaded with tremendous force and their fans kicked on and their spark chamber armor returned, as well as the feeling of individuality. Metal popped as their frames cooled.

"Nightshade are you alright?" Knock Out asked while passively scanning her.

"Never better! That was overload?! Knockout, that was amazing. I never imagined. You…" She wanted to feel his energy again.

"I know" He said smiling. He took her hand "Are you absolutely sure you never interfaced before now?. You were that good sweet spark. And to be bonded…"

"Positive," She answered. "I guess we are just that compatible. I am glad we did that. I am also glad we chose to spark merge also. I love you Knock Out."

"And I you, Now let's power down"

"Agreed" she answered and off lined her optics for a much needed recharge.

Knock Out stayed beside her. He vented softly. Human? She was human once? He thought about how much he actually changed. It should have made him angry, but it didn't. Yes, he understood her reason for the deception. The fact that she was able to proved that she was worth it. He laughed softly as his processor changed directions. If he had known getting information would be this easy and pleasure inducing he would have went on special ops a long time ago. All those things he did trying to understand who she was and this was all he needed. Of course he was different and wouldn't use it against her not like he would have then. He rolled his optics and went into recharge.


	14. Of Becoming

Chapter 14: Of Becoming

Nightshade woke up suddenly. An electrical tingle, like what she would call a chill if she were human, went through her body. Images in her processor remained like she was remembering a dream, but Cybertronians don't dream she told herself. It must be the remnants of the files from the interface and merge. The sensation she recognized as Knock Out's faint spark signature. She smiled wanting to hold on to it a little longer, or better yet experience it in full again. She sat up hoping he was still beside her. To her dismay he wasn't. He likes to rise with the sun I guess. She thought to herself.

"Good morning, sweet spark, or should I say my bond mate. Glad you are finally awake. Come on to the lab. We weren't the only ones experiencing a power surge last evening. Clearly there were storms down here again last night. Lots of new sparks means lots of work to do." Knockout told her through their bond. Of course he was up already. She rolled her optics

"Riiiiiight! On my way" she answered. His bond mate!? She thought. She was bonded now? Of course she was. That was how he knew she was awake. That was why she could still feel his spark energy and sense his emotions. That was why they didn't crash and why it felt so perfect. They were for a time literally one spark. That was also the equivalent of...she stopped herself realizing she didn't want to go there. She wanted to but at the same time didn't think she was ready to call herself anyone's wife. Technically being here she wouldn't have to but she was. She knew the lingering sensation was the result of a spark bond and that made them...married. She finally forced herself to say it. Out loud. "I am married" she said to no one. She knew they didn't have a ceremony especially like anything in any human custom but she found herself daydreaming about what one would look like on the way to the labs.

She was so lost in thought that she almost missed her turn. "Scrap" she said out loud. "I need to focus. Why can't I focus?" Sure she had been distracted before but she blamed that on the stress and she was under a great weight of it but now it was gone. She had exactly what she wanted. Family, friends, and the career she wanted. She pulled in, transformed, and greeted the team.

"How many new sparks, how long, and where?" she asked unusually eager.  
"Sixteen were here first thing this morning and most of them are still ok. The ones that were not yet extinguished are over here by this vine." The soil the eight sparks were in was a rich golden hue, shining more brightly than the others around it. "This seems to be the first functioning hot spot. We are already examining the soil." Ratchet answered.

"Shouldn't we cover them?" Nightshade asked unsure what that would do but instinctively knew she should.

"Why?" Knock Out asked

"Don't know but it won't hurt. Call it a hunch. If the energy needed is coming from there they should be covered by it for the most effect"

"I think I see where you are going with this. The idea that it is coming from the soil and making something of a spark chamber to trap the energy needed to be viable." Ratchet acknowledged.

"I can construct one that is more similar to one and place the soil in it to trap it." one of the other bots said as he took off to do that. They worked a few cycles and took an energon break.

"You're mighty upbeat today? Might there be a particular reason for that?" Knock Out asked his mate when they were away from everyone else.

"There is new life in the air and new things coming. I…" she paused not really sure how to say it. "…I am a bonded femme! On Earth that would make me married."

"Yes, that is an accurate analogy but clearly we are much more. How many humans," he put a strong emphasis on that word, "have shared souls?” he smiled. “And, I know you don't have regrets even if you hesitate. That isn't what you feel. I know." Through the bond he made sure she knew he had no regrets either despite the secrets now being out.

" I don't.”

“Then why are you troubled?”

“I don't know. I always envisioned a public ceremony. A wedding if you will."  
Knock out chuckled. "You know we don't have anything like that. Clearly bonds are a private thing, and they don't always happen, not unless you are willing but more importantly compatible." It is better this way. Besides I don't think we could find a dress or tux big enough to fit us." He added after quickly researching Earth's customs.

"I know. I did get one thing I imagined though. The groom is taller than me but not too much, gorgeous, keeps himself that way, is quite literally a red head, and is a doctor. Who needs cake and a white dress? I couldn't wear a white one now anyway. And it is better. I can actually feel you even if you aren't around. I wouldn't trade this for a ceremony of any sort"  
They finished refueling and went back to work. The sparks that stayed out in the open extinguished but the four that remained ignited long enough for a casing were still functioning although weaker. It had been almost a full day. The spot was a confirmed weak hot spot however and it seemed to be growing in strength. Nightshade was relieved by the fact that she and Knock Out wouldn't have to repopulate the planet, assuming that experiment was even successful. Nightshade and Knock Out no longer considered it just for science.

"Let's head back. It is a little early but you look like you could use the extra recharge." Knock Out told Nightshade as the shadows grew longer on the surface. "I'm betting they are still there tomorrow."  
They transformed and raced off back to their, Nightshade's, place. Knock Out easily beat Nightshade back this time. It was like she was suddenly too tired to race. It was if she had a sudden energy drain. She did an internal diagnostic quickly. Everything seemed normal. She walked in to see a scene very similar to her graduation party.

"Knock Out mentioned you said something about a wedding. Well we can't do that but Earth has another custom as I have come to observe in the last few years there. I believe they call them "showers' Here is your 'bridal shower'. I know traditionally it is supposed to be a femme thing but it is more fun this way than with just Arcee don't you agree." Ratchet told a stunned Nightshade.

"Thank you!" was all she could manage. Gifts were everywhere and some mechs already indulged in the high grade. Something that on this evening was totally unappealing. "Where do you get all this stuff? Stashed over from the war? Hidden in the ruins of Dark mount?"

"Yes, All of the above" came the reply from a golden mech.  
Everyone enjoyed themselves, including Nightshade. The crowd left. The only ones there were Knock Out and Ratchet. Ratchet was about to leave when Nightshade almost fell. She gripped her chassis.

"Massive energy drain" was all she could cough out.  
Ratchet helped her to a berth. Both he and Knock Out scanned her as she ran another diagnostic.

"I’m…"

"SPARKED" they all said in unison

 

"Sparked" she said again as if she was trying to convince herself. "I must admit I didn't expect it to occur so quickly."

"I am just that good. And not just with my hands" Knock out laughed. "Honestly, though neither did I."

"Maybe it didn't and maybe it had less to do with you than you think." Ratchet muttered to himself as he walked out leaving the bond mates to themselves. He had much on his processor and headed back to his lab for some quiet. The high grade was starting to get to him. He had doubts that had nothing to do with being on the edge of overcharged. Something just seemed wrong. Now that he looked back it seemed that Nightshade had symptoms well before the last solar cycle. He knew that Nightshade didn't tell him everything and he didn't expect her too. What she did in private was her business but she wouldn't directly lie. She did say a few solar cycles ago that she had not interfaced. Nightshade had been having problems with her energy levels, but he attributed those to other perfectly logical and probable causes. The troubling thing was that it seemed to occur around the same time of the formation of Cybertron's hot spot.

Nightshade saw Ratchet's expression as he left. "Maybe it didn't? What is he talking about?" Nightshade asked in disbelief. "When else would it have happened? You believe me when I said I have never bonded or even interfaced before last night right.” Knockout didn’t look at Nightshade. His optics were distant as if he were researching something. “Knockout?"

Her voice seemed to draw him out of his trance. "Why wouldn't I? I an you do keep secrets well, but I saw all. I know you didn't. While it is true that it is unusual for you to experience the pull on your energy reserves so soon it is not impossible. Besides nothing about you has ever been average. So I don't see why your carrying period will be any different. My personal hot spot"  
Knock Out's ruby optics twinkled. "It is also possible but extremely unlikely that something in the planet and your creation…"He stopped himself from saying anything else. He knew she was sensitive about that topic and would look into it with Ratchet if he decided to investigate further.

"I admit I felt an unusual tie to the planet when I first got here and you made all those 'Eve' jokes, I really don't know what to think right now." She was beginning to get angry. But wasn't really sure why. "And if you mention the Allspark aga-?  
Knock Out shook his helm. "Don't worry about it. It is to be celebrated. And we need to be sure we have a proper frame for the protoform when it develops that far."  
Nightshade walked out slowly. She wanted to rest. The day put an obvious strain on her physically but her processor hurt and she was having a hard time keeping her emotions in check. "I am going to try to recharge. Maybe I will get some ideas back at the lab tomorrow." She fell into recharge quickly. However, she didn't stay in recharge long. Images played through her processer randomly not allowing her to stay in recharge. She felt the sensation like dreaming. Something she had been doing a lot lately. It must be part of being sparked she thought. The whole thing bothered her and she quietly left for the lab. She would rest after she had her answers.

Cybertron was just as beautiful at night. The stars look like optics embedded in carbon, she thought. Or like little glowing white sparks in the universe. Primus, Why me? She wanted to question she asked herself again and again. She arrived at the labs. Fortunately she was alone. She checked the new sparks. Four of them were still pulsating strongly and beginning to develop small preforms around them. She could make out the outline and she touched her chest. She grabbed the data pad she needed and walked outside. She was going to spend the evening reading by the well.  
She looked down into it and saw the colors merging. It was beautiful. There is the all spark. Not me. All life here comes from out of there so why does it bother me that my spark may be, no is, a direct descendent of that one. Nightshade could not think of a better word. She became what she became and she was ok with it finally. No she wasn't average and neither would her sparkling be. Her's and Knockout's. Yes she was certain that was it. She felt something when holding these that she didn't fell when focusing on her own spark. She felt Knock Out.  
She went back in and examined the protoforms. She had an idea of what hers would be. She heard someone come in behind her. She checked her chronometer, she hadn't been here that long. "Knockout , I couldn't sleep so I…"

"Sorry no. I couldn't sleep myself too much high grade last night. "Ratchet told her."I saw the look you gave me when I left. Is something on your mind?"

"You mean besides me being a carrier already? No nothing?"

"I didn't mean to imply…"

"Of course you didn't. And I didn't take it that way.” She lied. “And I am okay with anything. I am also just really afraid." She tried to change the topic. "The others are doing fine. Cybertron is alive again without question! And it didn't even need me."

"Oh but it did Nightshade. You've been working this long and you still don't see it. Your presence kick started it. Your working here contributed to your systems being geared up so quickly. That is why it occurred so quickly. I've been doing research too, you know. Not just on the planet." The look his charge gave him was not lost on him. “I am sorry, I didn’t mean it to sound like you are simply a-“ She cut him off quickly.

"I know you see me as more than a strange experiment with unexpected consequences but, it still almost sounds like you believe I am somehow tied to Primus, or the Allspark, or even the matrix. I am not nor do I want to be. I just want to be a good doctor and a good carrier." She was fighting waves of emotion.

"I know you're not all that. And you are and will be good” He had to make her see what he realized and was sure Knockout saw it by now too. How could he make her see? “Think about it Nightshade, You were given a gift. Sure it looks like a curse sometimes but think about it. You wanted to be a healer. You are. You have a gifting with it. They heal quickly around you. Don't you think that is something? Supernatural or not it definitely comes in handy. I imagine your sparkling will have that trait too, considering."  
They checked on the others and discussed genetics and made bets. Nightshade grabbed her chest again and doubled over.

"Sit down. Are you okay?" He scanned her. Your energy levels have dropped again and your spark rate is up. Rest a click and we will refuel. You can come back here later. There is plenty of time for this."  
He helped her back to her place after a cube and a half of medical grade energon.  
Nightshade was up at sunrise with Knockout. The day and following weeks went on without incident. She had another surprise 'shower' for the sparkling and they made preparations for the new little Cybertronian. She took extra precautions and she and Knockout already constructed a frame. It was black with red flames. They would call their mechling Blaze  
An orbital cycle and a half later while at work Nightshade felt something she never had before but knew it was time. Her chest plates felt like they were caving in on her spark chamber and she was certain her spark was about to explode.

"Knock Out!" she screamed.  
He scanned her to confirm what he knew. "Let's go carrier. Sparkling is ready for his new body."

"Right Sire" She said between vents.  
Nightshade rested on the medical berth as Knock Out disconnected the now glowing slightly purple new spark from its carrier. He connected it to the protoform. It' flickered a bit pulsed regularly through its transparent silver tented frame. Purple optics glowed as he looked at his sire.

"He's going to be fast and will need a fast alt when the time comes for an upgrade." Knock Out laughed.  
He put the crimson and black armor around the sparkling. He handed him to Nightshade and he took to the energon. This was great.

"He needs a designation". Knock Out reminded her. "I told you that you could do it."

"Blaze", Nightshade said smiling.

"Yes, Indeed" Knock out agreed.

Cybertron was renewed. Life both sustained and birthed. Team Prime and the others we contacted and met to celebrate the new generation born on their home world. 

In the decaorns that followed the four newsparks were given protoforms decided on by the scientists that were working on them. Windchaser was a grounder, and the seeker trine composed of Jetstream, Rainmaker, and Moonbeam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That is it. The next chapter is the epilogue.


	15. Sparklings

Two Vorns (166.6 Earth years) later:

Evening was falling on Cybertron. It had been a long orn. Nightshade enjoyed watching the first of the new generation of younglings play. Windchaser and Blaze, as well as the seeker trine composed of Jetstream, Moonbeam, and Rainmaker had just gotten their alt modes and were enjoying themselves.  
Windchaser was something of a daredevil and he convinced Blaze to stand on the fliers and do something he called wind surfing.

"Blaze, get down. You are going to hurt him or yourself. Jetstream, What are you doing? You are the same size as he is and you just got your upgrade. You can’t possibly be used to it yet. Are you trying to end up grounded for life?"

I'm sorry Nightshade." Jetstream said as he landed. Nightshade wasn’t sure if he was truly sorry for making a stupid choice or if he was just sorry he got caught doing it and wouldn’t be able to again while she was there anyway. 

"Carrier, it was Windchaser's idea"

It was a bad one. Blaze. Windchaser, I'm not sure Sideswipe isn't you sire! Standing on jets while they are in flight, do I need to check your processors?" Nightshade asked shaking her helm.

"As I recall you once did that too sweet spark" Knock Out said grinning the entire time.

"Knock Out, that's not helping. Blackhawk was magnetized and I wasn't standing. I was cowering over trying not to purge my tanks as I recall. Who told you about that anyway?"

"Never mind"

"Sire, will you race me and Windchaser?"

"One quick race then it is time for recharge." He told them as he transformed.

"Keep in mind who you are racing. They are not me and Smokey or Bee. Don't run them off the road. Nightshade told him laughing.  
Nightshade smiled as she watched them take off. It was now extremely quiet. She didn't like it. The silence made her think too much. She was amazed at how quickly time seemed to pass. Two vorns passed already. Her sparkling was growing so quickly. She thought once again about Earth. She had been back a few times but all her human friends and family long gone now. She heard Anna Leigh had several children and grandchildren, a fact that didn't surprise Nightshade in the least. She saw some of them on her last trip back. She decided she most likely wouldn't return. Her life was great and she didn't like to think of her former humanity if she could help it. She grabbed some oil and set down to wait on her family. They came back before she had time to get lost in those thoughts. She had not yet shared everything with Blaze. He'd hear soon no doubt and then Nightshade would answer his questions truthfully. What she didn't expect was for them to come so soon.

"Carrier I know where sire is from we have been there before. What City State are you from?" the youngling asked Nightshade as he came back in and transformed.

Not tonight,” Nightshade thought but she said, "Prepare for power down and I'll tell you a story."

"I am from the in the state of Nevada." She told him.

He looked puzzled. "I haven't heard of that one. Where is it?"

Nightshade vented softly. "Just listen. I know you like to watch the sky and see all the stars. There is a planet orbiting one of those stars called Earth. I was born there. I grew up there and things were very different. I was very different. I met some evil Cybertronians who worked with some of the people there. They took me. And over a period of a few days I became like I am now. I met your sire during the war and we fought together. I met your grandsire and he took to me like my own sire. When I came home to our planet I knew that I was truly home. I don't go back to Earth anymore because I am home and you are my family. We may travel the stars one day and I will show you. I don't know why it happened but there was a reason. We all have a purpose. Don't think about it too hard. Just recharge.

"Wow." Blaze whispered. "Carrier is an alien. I am half alien…Yes!"

"shush. I am not. You are not. We are completely Cybertronian. We just came from different places. You, Me, Sire, Jetstream," she paused "Blaze, the all spark gives life. Just in different ways, but all the same Allspark. Goodnight."


End file.
